Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy I've come full circle #26

Thanks my hurting friend for coming by. Hope you are better tonight. I am getting ready to dash over to your thread and see how you are.

kat

I survived the day. Actually bettter than that, no tears, no regret, no remorse. It was just a pleasant memory of that morning when I got married.

Went out with a friend from work. Hardly even mentioned ex, so that was a good thing. Life is busy enough without dwelling on that kind of stuff. D10 was running a fever and I held her most of the night and we watched ghost stories on t.v. She is much better this morning but I needed to remind her to take today slow.

Back to work.

kat

Hi Kat-

Glad you survived the day yesterday and that you got out. I hope your D10 is doing better.

You're an amazing woman, you know that!

Have a great day!

SueS

Thanks! You are making me blush. (Hey but always nice to hear!)

kat

Right on cue, ex can't even wait until June 1st to talk about the kids. Now he is changing it to spending the night every Tuesday and having them spend the night on Sunday's that he has them. He won't keep taking D10 to her flute lesson as of July 1, but that means he won't bring her back in town for her lesson. I am not sure how much good will come out of twice a month.

And the great big coward that he is wants to settle this over email. All of this because he is moving. It is just what is convenient to him. Though he did want to spend extra time with them on Tuesdays after he got paid to do stuff with them but assures me S16 would be home by 5.

Part of me just wants to say this isn't convenient to the kids. It isn't fair to them. D10 has been taking lessons for nearly two years and he already seems to cancel them more than have them because it just isn't convenient for him. What would happen if I were to move? He would have a fit and expect me to honor all of these "rules". What is a nice way to say No, you made this situation you deal with it?

kat

How about you made this situation, you deal with it? I just think what's wrong with saying, we went to a court and have an agreement or contract or whatever they call it. If you're unhappy, feel free to hire an L and file a motion.

If it's not good for the kids, I wouldn't just agree to it. I think you have always been too nice to your H, and it's more important to look out for your kids than be nice to your ex. ps. I am saving for a landline!!! My phone doesn't work half the time here! Karen

Kat,
The kids should not have to give up things they enjoy providing it doesn't cause a financial strain on you. They did not ask for their lives to be disrupted by their dad!

I responded to him that I thought we had agreed to discuss this on June 1st. I know that is just a statement and doesn't show my hand. The best thing for me in this situation is to not speak out in anger because the real message would be lost.

It is about the kids. Now that he has rearranged his request a bit it really doesn't equate to more time, the extra would be in sleeping. However my concern is that during school it just doesn't make any sense for them to deal with the extra rush in the morning and then the drive in.

D10's lessons, those are an issue. Originally I thought about ending them but then when I spoke with D10 she said that she wanted to continue. I may just see if I can change the date.

I suppose this is a bit of time to breathe and think about what to say and how to say it. I am not the most eloquent of writers but hopefully he will be able to see through the fog enough to know this is about them and not me.

kat

Gee whiz give me a break!! He called me within 15 minutes at work! I know where S16 gets this tactic of bothering until ex caved. With me it just ticks me off! I gave him my answer months ago on all of this and he just keeps at it. However I did mention today, so i get what I ask for.

Now he actually wants to meet in person. At least it will give me an opportunity to get my house key from him for the last time. He swiped a set without my knowing.

I am going to try to stay all strong with this but it is sooo annoying. I want him out of my life so badly but he just keeps sticking around, kind of like gum stuck to your shoe.

Wish me luck.

kat

I don't remember what time we said, but I'm there. R U OK?