Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy he is back, i think

he isnt home yet. this is what i hate.

i hate that now he is back and now i have to wonder when he will be home.

now i wonder where he is.

what a huge mess.

All I can do is Hug you from here. Piecing is a tough one. Just step back, stop pushing the relationship talks..... it won't be healed over night..... it takes awhile

thank you. but it doesnt look like right now like it will be healed.

unless someone can see otherwise, unless someone can tell me this is all par for the course, it kinda seems done this time.

just like that.

but, of course, according to him, not just like that.

h still isnt home, hasnt called. i hate it.

as upset as i am, it just dawned on me, even if we proceed legally, all we will be is legally separated since i wont give him a flat out divorce.

so its not that much different than what we have already been through, it will just be set up legally.

hmm.

h came home last night, picked up milk like i had asked earlier in the day.

i cant believe it could be over. could it really be?

i dont want it to be, i dont know what to do, i dont think there is anything i can do.

he just left for work, acting nice but whats the difference.

im just not ok. i thought i would be ok, im not.

i dont know how to let go. i dont know how to realize that my life will always be like this with him. he will always be up and down and unhappy until he addresses there is something wrong and works on it.

why can i let go? why cant i say, ok its time i am done.

everyone else can see it, why cant i?

why am i hoping he changes his mind?

Because you're co-dependent. That's what you're going to need to work on, doodles.

Puppy

iwant my life back. the one we had before he went nuts.

when life was carefree, money was in abundance, we had our son, had good times, constant entertaining, going out with friends, buying our big house, renovating it etc.

i miss spending time together and doing everything together and watching tv in bed at night together and laughing.

i keep thinking one day he will snap back to that person. each time he shows signs of it i eat it up.

and then he flips again.

its like i cant fully remove myself.

especially now with the store we opened together.

he is looking to sell it already, after one month.

its not normal.

Doodles,

No advice from me (for once), but I just wanted to say that I can COMPLETELY understand the above. I'm going thru it too, and I know that it hurts -- deeply.

Hugs,

Puppy

its nice to have company in this lol.

i know that i have done absolutely everything i could have. there is no stone unturned, no approach not tried.

nothing i still needed to say, nothing i should have held back.

so is this where i "give up"

is this where i throw in the towel and say, i dont want him?

i dont know how to do it.

im truly hurt and upset, but not overwelmed like last year when he was looking to divorce me.

im stronger now, i have things in order, i know what to expect if this really goes down.

im on top of the money (or lack there of), i have a better understanding of the unknowns.

but i still dont want it.