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Yea, can't help but to wonder if divorce is happier but I hear from too many people divorce isn't easy/happy either, although I think Bariga and I would find D a bit easier since we have no kids. Maybe/maybe not?

Is there a third option? I'm def game for whatever option #3 would be.

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Update!

Wife ended her affair because she realized it was confusing her. She has mentioned that she was realizing that I had been able to do all the things that she ended our marriage for and that now she was dealing with issues that came up after the separation.

That same week she got a job offer in another city. So I have moved and now she is thinking about moving.

She is asking hypothetical questions like would I join her or could we work on the marriage over the distance. She still is having trouble committing to the marriage again.

I told her I would not like to leave where I live now because we separated initially because of my instability in work and now I have it.

She is worried that things will just be the same all over again but I know they won't.

I have gone on and gotten a life and it is nice to know that I can enjoy life, but when the day full of events is over I still feel a little hollow.

I have already backed way off but this week is a major point with her job decision and our marriage. I want to influence her to be my wife again but I don't want to get in her face.


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Hi Bariga,

I love the turn of events. From the outside looking in, it all sounds very promising. I also loved that you told her that you are not willing to move and leave your job. It shows her a change. It's also great that she will move. Get her away from OM. Don't be too afraid of the long distance. Maybe tell her to take the job and you guys can take it slow. Even if you are willing to move, I would think that you should right away. Don't want her to think that you will drop everything and run to her. I think this is God working everything together for your good. Sounds wonderful. Have her move and let her know that you do still love her but you want to take it slow. Just a thought. I got so happy to read your update though.

And I too am struggling with that hollow feeling. Sometimes, its like I'm existing but not living. A piece of us feels lost.

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It is an extra complication for her to move to where she is moving, it is abt a 16hr drive from where I have moved to.

I feel like her selfishness is infinite at this point.
I love my wife very much but when is enough enough?

She has started talking abt reconciliation at the same time I am thinking that I can't take anymore blows from her selfishness.

I am glad she is taking this job and I have to figure out how to get all of the rest of my belongings from our shared home. She wants me to help her move and I think that a 25 hour road trip will be sort of cool.

I want to proceed with caution. Advice on that?


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Maybe others might have different advice, but I say take the road trip with here. Be a friend with this one. She is moving from OM, help her do it. Her being so far away too might be a good thing for her to feel the loss of your M being where it is.

Hang in there. We know our spouses are not perfect and they never will be. And I do still say take it slow. Look after you for now until she gives a little encouragement. My 2cents.

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I recently started to feel that my w/ may have done too much to sabotage our marriage chances.

Simply put, she left me and moved on to another man because I was in a crisis trying to figure out how to get an education and be a better husband.

I don't know what she could do that would allow me to feel safe with her again.

Just don't know. If this trip yields nothing, I will end it for her.


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What am I supposed to think about her deciding to move to a new city and not the one I live in but at the same time start hinting to reconciliation.

I think she is hedging her bets and I don't like it.

Is there another possible explanation?


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Sounds to me that she is just keeping you as a backup in case her new city doesn't have someone she likes. Moving away says alot!!!

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I agree with Inlikeflynn!

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Agree, maybe show her that its a losing bet. Act as if you're comfy where you are, like you've moved on. I'm trying to do that myself.

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