There is a lot that can happen between your filing and it being official. In my case, she was on the fence for a while after her anger of my filing had settled down. Right before it was official, she asked for a second chance, but it was too late for me and it appeared to me that she was only doing it to save face.
If you do file, it does give you some feeling of being in control of your life. I think the key to any hope of reconciliation will be how Dan's actions are during the time after filing.
If you do file, it does give you some feeling of being in control of your life. I think the key to any hope of reconciliation will be how Dan's actions are during the time after filing.
I agree 100% with Kerry..I really don't think that there is much hope on this board fro anyone unless you are prepared to file..prepared to end it...that to me seems one part of drawing a WAS back in most cases...I think you have to show them that you are prepared to end it andf take actions to do so...
It seems that there are some WAS's who say they want out but never take the true actions to end it...they YO-YO...I think Dan is an example of that..I think Laura's DH is an example of that.....I think Racefan's wife is an example of that..
I think the ones who are truly done...go file..and file with their hearts ready to end it..no matter the fallout...ie..Kim and Gypsy's husband....and those are the ones who do not give a second thought to doing what they do...
Well I texted him last night that I was going to call an attorney and make an appointment.
We spent the evening together with the kids, Dan's idea. He wanted to meet us at karate and take Nathan out to celebrate earning his next karate belt level last week. So we went to Outback and then to Dairy Queen, and I thought we were going to my house after that to work on our schedule. (Nathan's counselor said we MUST get a schedule in place so the kids can have some expectations of what their lives are going to be like.)
Anyway as they were eating ice cream Dan said he had to go meet a guy in a neighboring town (30 miles) to pick up semen....bull semen for AI work on the cows this week.
So I lost the opportunity to talk to him without the kids around. Then to add to the joy Sydney started projectile vomiting on the way home. And she didn't even eat her ice cream at Dairy Queen (should have known she was sick! ).
So I spent the evening until 2:30 am holding the bucket for her while she tried to sleep and kept waking up.
Anyway point is we weren't gong to have time to talk alone so I texted him. I just told him that I knew when it came to cows and houses, if he thought the project was worth it he would give it his all and make it great. That the same could be said for our marriage, if it was important to him he would work with me to take the broken marriage and make something better out of it. But since he had not shown any desire to do so, I was going to call my atty and make the appointment to start the process.
Well I sent the message at 10:30 in two parts, but the second part (about the atty) didn't transmit until 2:00 am. He texted back at 2:03 that "his phone was 'jacked up' and he wasn't able to see the message until then, sorry". But that was the only response.
This afternoon he called to see if Sydney was okay. He said he had gotten my messages but hadn't had a chance to respond since he was at work and I was at work...
Oh well. Still calling the attorney. It's time to move on with life.
((((BobbiJo)))) that's all I can offer right now. Seems he likes to stick his head in the sand. I don't really feel that he thinks you are serious.
Sorry about Sydney, vomiting sucks ( I thought it did when they were little and had no excuse to get to the toilet, but my kids even at ages 12 & 14 still sometimes don't make it.) It's just grosser the bigger they are. Now I line a runway with platic bags and towels all the way to the bathroom and beg them please do it in your bed and not on the carpet. I hate lugging out the green machine at 2 am..... and why can they not get the vomits at 9 in the morning? Mystery!
Anyway, off topic but my head in spinning right round! I am sure you understand.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I hope your little one is feeling better this morning! That's not even a little bit fun to deal with!
It does seem that Dan is playing ostrich. It seems like he hopes the sitch will jsut go away. W was like that, too, to a degree. She was content with things the way they were, so whenever I did anything to try to change them she'd just kind of ignore it. At least that's how it felt to me.
Mike I agree, twice in the past week he said he was going to come see the kids in the evening and then 'stuff came up' (his house and farm chores) and it didn't happen.
At DQ when he said he was going to meet his cattle buddy to get the semen, I said, "Oh, I thought we were doing the schedule tonight." He said he would call the guy and reschedule but I told him not to. At that point I felt like he had made his decision on what was important and I didn't want him backpedaling on my account.
Also, I called him last night around 9:30 to tell him Sydney was throwing up. Why? I don't know, maybe I wanted him to see what I was dealing with, by myself, again. Maybe b/c she is his daughter, and I would want to know if he had been with her and she was sick. Oh well. Anyway when he heard her crying in the background he said he would head over as he was just leaving the neighboring town from the meet-up. Again, I told him not to, said I had it handled. No reason for him to come and watch her throw up. Now, once he has his own house, he will be keeping them half the time when they are sick. Cause I am going to need some sleep!
BBJ - I am in awe that you were able to mention Outback, Dairy Queen, ice cream, vomit and bull semen all in one post.
I think you may be surprised with his response, but you should still keep expectations low.
BTW... The best vomit scene in a movie has to be in "Team America: World Police".
Kerry,
I also mentioned karate... I think the Exorcist has a wicked vomiting scene, too...
I don't expect a darn thing from him in terms of a response. I predict he will be an ostrich. Until he gets the paperwork, then he will get angry/defensive. Just my prediction. If it is a pleasant surprise that would be great, but I am not having any expectations of that.
).