She has been expressing doubts for about a week now of "What if we're throwing it all away?" and "What if we wake up one day and realize we threw it all away?" and such, and we talked more about that. About what a great friendship we have, and what a great family we have, and that it was just this "IT" (that's what we call our issue -- "The It") that we can never seem to get past. We talked openly and honestly about our fears, our fears that each of us would go back to the way we were before, and that our MARRIAGE would go back to the way it was before. She was (and has been recently) more introspective than I've ever heard her, and talked about her need to deal with her issues and her demons. She actually WANTS counseling. She asked, "Why is it that we can find thousands of dollars to pay people to help us get divorced, but we can't find hundreds for people to help us stay MARRIED?"
Well, wasn't that pretty much her doing? I thought she wasn't into getting IC and MC? If she is, then I'm sure your M can/will be saved. If not, then I think this will be just more of the same stuff you've already gone through. I mean she has to really work on herself and the marriage, not just say the right stuff. I think you should have cautious optimism, and I do hope she will follow through and do what needs to be done to save the M. I mean I've always known that she'd regret it at some point; I know you think that too. Karen
Oh Pup! You deserve this so much. I thought of something when I was reading Old Timer's post. A female does need that flirty fun excitment. She does need variety. And.....I hope this doesn't gross you out when I say this, but when I went into my "crazy days" with OM, the thing I liked was that I could be that "dirty girl" that Old Timer was talking about. I could never be that with my H. I don't know why I could not reach that place with him, but it was like I could not get past that proper Christian wife and mother role and well........you can prabably guess the rest.
I hope that this time will take for you two. A lot of prayers have gone up and it sounds like she is serious this time. I thought you told us that she has just lost all attraction for you! HA! Doesn't sound like it to me. That is great.
Keep the love young and fun and the sex dirty and maybe that is the magic formula for a good marriage. Well, kind of just kidding there b/c you know me, I believe we have to fit God into that formula, too. Anyway, realy happy for you two.
Love, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Chocolateyes strikes again! Good for both of you, Pup! I don't know if you really need toys, but sparking up and keeping up the sex life is crucial. My H seems to like the little nighties that I buy from Fredericks.com. There are some really sexy things with strategically placed holes that really turn him on. Maybe she would enjoy modeling one of them for you. Then there are some really cute little maids' outfits. Role playing is good. You know, she puts it on and cleans the bedroom and you come up behind her....
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
