Ok...I'm not officially moderating now. So I'm not going to ban or delete anything.
Still...ya might wanna guard the way you post to this.
Over the many years I have moderated, and posted before that...and the many many things I've seen....
I know folks meet off the board, as friends, and as potential soul mates after hurting for so long.
I just want to give my perspective...not from judgment, but from what I've witnessed.
Most folks are initially disappointed...at least one or other of the parties, and sorry they engaged such close contact. Some are initially enthralled and then really are sorry....and most often prefer their initial spouse.
That means there's most often yet another heartbreak for much more than half of the folks that meet up....as friends or otherwise. And that's so sad, because the relationship was really healing on the board.
If this is in the works for you.......I urge you to really think it over quite abit. If you feel euphoric at all....don't do it. If you are in recent heartbreak, don't do it. If the OTHER person is in recent heartbreak or euphoric, don't do it.
Keep your board friendships. Encourage each other. Help each other grow. Be able to be really honest with each other to work out what you need to work out.
With YOU in mind, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Great advice. I know there was Bworl and Deb that met up and re-married. And Fig too. Rare cases indeed.
I was in phone contact with Goldeylox when she was afraid of violence from her H. I was standing by to call the police if she did not call me at a certain time. That is the only person on this board I have ever spoken too and it was one phone call for an emergency because I lived near her.
Although, I dont think it bad for some of the same sex to meet up. There are some guys here that I would feel proud to get out and play a round of golf, go fishing or talk in person with.
I don't think anyone is bad for doing it. We become very close for the kind of support we get here. We build 'trust'. But it is very different from the kind we build in our 'physical' or natural world. We don't have our nonverbal communication to support our instincts.
MOST of our communication as humans/animals is nonverbal.
The other thing is......if you do hook up and then break up....where do you go for support......here. It's messy.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
It could be messy. And it should only be done after careful thought.
I've met two folks from here with no problems at all. I expect I will meet more. But, there are certainly risks if any of these were to become "relationships". But in a lot of ways the risks are similar to the real world risk of going from friends to more than friends. Still, it isn't anything to be taken lightly.
Dang,... now I have to break up with SecretCheerleader from MLC board.... and to think we closed down Paneras this week!
;-)
Just kidding...
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Shoot Sandy--and no more phone calls until 2am for us!
I know I would not trade the friendships I have made with sandycay, Amy, Greek, Crissy and others for anything. Mike has been an awesome refuge when I needed someone to talk to and none of the ladies were available, as have been Ian and Racefan (my big brother).
It is really applying the filters that we are given in our heart and mind. We know when things are going down the wrong road--as did our spouses. Hopefully as a result of what we have learned on this board we will have the common sense to step back when something has the potential to go to far.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Ok for reals now people... back to SGCTXOK original thread... I've just been feeling funny lately!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Depends on what category the question is in. If it is about Three Doors Down, you go to the top of the list, Ian gets questions about Elvis, and Brian gets the ones about cornhusking.
SMOOCHES!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Depends on what category the question is in. If it is about Three Doors Down, you go to the top of the list, Ian gets questions about Elvis, and Brian gets the ones about cornhusking.
SMOOCHES!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
