Matilda, My W and her friend seem to be hot and cold. I am cordial to him when he's over. I see no point in creating ill will in the household. He is grateful to visit and use our place as a respite for his D troubles. He also values my W as a companion (or whatever). He bought me a book on dog training, and let me download some latin CD's from his collection onto my Ipod. He again offered to cut my grass. I think he's grateful for the hosptitality.
My W asked me to go on a trip with her to Columbia. We joined a world travel group in January, and had started looking into some trips, but had stopped talking about it shortly after that. I told her not at this time. I don't think there's enough connection in the R.
I went to my IC this week. He thinks it's important for me to hold onto my boundaries. He anticipates that my W will want to reconnect at some point, without making any changes on her end, setting us up to repeat the same cycle and patterns. He thinks that until she acknowledges her part in the problems, and shows some signs that she truly values the M, versus wants companionship when it's convenient for her, that I should continue to keep my distance, and not invest too much into the M. I agree.
I seem to have a UTI or some related problem again. I have low grade fever, and an increased frequency of urination, though no burning, or blood. My tongue is covered with a white film. I have dark circles around my eyes. I completed a month's regimen of antibiotics in April for prostate problems. I have a refill, but I prefer not to use it unless I have to. I'm taking 3000 mg. daily of Vitamin C, 50 mg. daily of zinc, a multivitamin, 1-3 garlic tablets daily, and three tablets daily of cranberry juice. I also take two prostate complex tablets daily. My book says that this can probably be treated at home, and my symptoms seem to be more annoying than serious, so I'll give it a few days and see if it starts to get better. This seems to have started yesterday, so it's only been two days, and today is better than yesterday.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
He thinks that until she acknowledges her part in the problems, and shows some signs that she truly values the M, versus wants companionship when it's convenient for her, that I should continue to keep my distance, and not invest too much into the M. I agree.
Makes sense. You have mentioned before that you always enjoyed traveling together. If she were to want to work on the marriage a trip would be a good starting point to reconnect.
It almost sounds to me that her "friend" is just that. Why else would he be so willing to come to your house, offer to mow the grass, etc? I want to know if they are sleeping together!!
Matilda, I don't know if their R is sexual or not. I don't know what my W has told him about the status of our R. He may think we're roommates, or D. He did make a reference to us being married in the past.
He asked me to join my W and he on their trip to Puerto Rico this summer. I told him that I would think about it. I would want to hear from my W that she would like me to go. I think this was his idea. When he proposed the idea to me, she didn't say a word. My initial reaction is that it probably isn't a good idea. How can you go from being roommates to travel companions?
It is tempting though, and I think his intentions are good. My guess is that he doesn't understand the nature of the problems between my W and I.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
