Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 8

The day started as "normal" in my situation.

My wife sent me a couple of emails (FYI/tactical stuff related to the kids). I waited about an hour before I answered the one email where she asked a question.

It's now 3 weeks since she's moved out.

So now that I've spent sometime with her, hopefully enjoying being with me and the boys, I'm going back to Dark/Dim again. I expect to see her on Weds for my 3 year old's baseball game so I'll have be be ready for that.

It's really hard to see if there's a light at the end of this tunnel.....

It's better then the light of an oncoming train ;-)

So true - especially if it's the Divorce train.

Problem is right now I seem to be on count down to when the divorce is final since she filed in Jan. In 24 months from the filing, it is final.

I'm not focused on the time, but know the limbo can't last forever.

I got a another email from her in the afternoon where she's still trying to get her Ipod working with her new computer. I put some files on a jump drive for her to see if it would work that way. She said it did so I'm going to put the rest of the files on for her.

I actually have to go back to work at 9 PM tonite, so hopefully I'll be able to still say goodnite to my boys.

Got to stay focused on Dark/Dim and getting a life.

She called tonite so my boys could say goodnite. I chatted with them for a short bit.

When my wife got back on the phone I just said goodnite and hung up

Not sure if that's too cold/dark

Any thoughts?

Not too much activity today. A couple of emails/text, but nothing of particular interest.

She did call tonite for me to say goodnite to my boys again. When she got on the phone, she talked a few minutes about her day. I listened and validated before I told her that I had to go.

So goes another day. Tomorrow is baseball for my 3 year old. Wonder if she's going to join us for dinner again....

Don't wonder. Ask her to join you tomorrow and if she does, great. If she doesn't, great! Don't get mired up in the BS and the ifs.

That's a good point

We are planning on having a late mom day next sunday with a brunch for the 4 of us (couldn't get reservations last Sun). In the text, she expressed interest in going.

I've got keep focused on being the best CIPA when I see her. The last couple of outings for my 3 year old's baseball game did not go well (she felt I was ignoring/cold to her). She had called later that night after the game upset about the fact that I was cold to her

I think we had a good time last Fri when we went together to see my 7 year old throw the opening pitch of the game.

I'm hoping to string together a few "good" family outings before I ask her about just the 2 of us going out. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I text her to ask if she wanted to do dinner at the park. She said "sure what time". I called her to work out the time and details. I'm sure some will consider this pursuing. This was the first time I initiated contact for the day. I had thought about waiting for her to call/text like she normally does but figured this could be a way to mix it up a little. She did call me back a few minutes later to talk about some tactical stuff.

I have my therapist appointment tody. So we shall see how it goes

Is there any reason why you wanted to have dinner with her tonight? It seems pretty fast to me, but I hope it all goes well.

I told you a couple of weeks ago that she seemed to be leaving the door open a hair and that she was doing some pursuing of her own...

But NOOOOOOOO.. You couldn't see it....

Actually, you are doing a pretty good job right now.
I have been watching and following you right along....

Your TIMING was right.

Remember... It is OKAY to pursue when you are the man IF and WHEN the woman is giving you the correct signals. (she has been)
By "pursuing", I mean that most women still feel more like a lady and a woman when the MAN does the asking for the date. When the MAN does the calling. When the MAN takes the initiative to have a place he would like to take her BEFORE he calls.

You followed all of those "principles"...

Stay on this path you have been following. Enjoy each day as it comes. Be happy just the way things are.

JUST BE...

Excellent job Confused. Excellent.