Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis slowing down

Yes very good. The best one actually.

Hey T, you really are a good guy and because of that you have a heart. And you are right, you cannot just flick a switch and shut off your feelings. So, pray some, keep busy and try to get through. That's really all you could do.

Thank you B!

That's what we all must do. I've been reading up on your sitch. I'm sorry that things have come to this. We will get through this and be better people. Everthing has a way of working out, though at times it doesn't seem that way. We have to keep that faith no matter what.

I just got an email from my X. She is asking to pick the kids up at 11:00am and to drop them back off at 4:00pm for mother's day. They take a nap from 1pm to 2:30pm. WTF.

Mother's day is actually her day to have them. Whatever.....works for me, she can have them for a few hours if that's all she wants.

She will not leave me alone regarding updating her about the mortgage either. She thinks I will just be able to refinance and be done. Wrong. I can't with the way my finances are. My only option is to go through their hardship program which is a major pain in the @ss and takes a lot of time. Hell, I may still have to sell this place.

So, now I have to break the news that this is going to take time. (which btw I have in the agreement) She is going to be royally p*ssed and of course it's all gonna be my fault.

Time to gear up and get ready for some major spewing.

Yes you will.

Life is what we make of it and I see you striving for a good one. You can only move forward one day at a time. It is a struggle but in the end, you will be a stronger, wiser man. (Yes, I said MAN)

When you lose that special someone it feels as if your life is over but it isn't. You have 2 choices, pick yourself up and move forward or sit stagnant and let life pass you by. Moving forward does not mean you have given up.

You have to be open and honest with yourself and everyone around you. A good friend told me that one time. My problem was I was too controlling and bitchy and not honest about some things and it backfired on me. I feel as if I have lost a good friend. A person who I enjoyed talking to. A person who helped me thru some really tough times. I am hoping this person will one day be able to put everything behind us and come back to that friendship. I miss them...

Those are the consequences of her actions, not yours.

DO what you must do to save your house......even if it does take a long long time.

There is no need to break the news to her either.
A simple "I'm taking care of it" will suffice.

Less words spoken/written are better. You have nothing to explain to her anymore.

Ok....yeah I'm quoting myself here. hehe.

I don't know what to say or do about this. I want her to have the kids all day. It's mother's day.

I guess my fear is that I will somehow become the reason for her not being able to have them all day. I can totally see that happening.

Hey, thanks for the thoughtful message on my thread. About Mother's Day, I thought it was the norm that the mom got Mother's Day and dad got Father's Day. I would go on and send them over. Good luck with your house. I don't see why she is pressuring you so much for all of this info. Seems like she's in a really big hurry to bug you about stuff.

Hope you have a good night. Son has a baseball game we're about to head off to.

May I ask why you feel the need to project what will happen?

May I ask why you give a flying rats arse how she reacts?

May I ask why it is that you still feel the need to think about all of this nonsense in any amount of time other than the amount of time that you want to take?

Did I miss something or do you have some sort of obligation to this woman that I am unaware of? For god's sakes trapt, it's been two years right? So by now I am thinking it is time for you to put on your big boy pants and quit worrying about:

1. Her reactions
2. Her time frames
3. Her time with the kids and how she spends it
4. Any damn thing that involves her at all or what so ever......




No, it's not... It's time for you to not worry about her spewing. It's time for you to be able to simply walk away from her when she gets attitude. It's time for you to simply grasp that the rewards of marriage and the tolerance that she is permitted by her "husband" are no longer your responsibility. She has to earn those priviliges and she has not been doing so.

I see people on here all the time that lose themselves and their functioning capability as an individual because they project how much their spouses are going to lash out and when it comes to fruition they are not strong enough to defend against it. For Petes sake, being a LBS does not mean that you have to sit back and be a big old pussy and allow yourself to be walked upon and belittles.

You deserve better than that Trapt, you deserve to be happy and you deserve to no longer feel the pain that she inflicts every time she has a little hissy fit.

I haven't posted in a while, I am sorry for that, but I decide to stop by today and see how you were and for the life of me couldn't sit by and not say shitt. So from me to you my friend, man up and get your balls back where they belong. YOU are better than that.


Ian

Hey, have fun at the game.

Yeah I don't get it. It's my scheduled day, however she is supposed to have them because it's mother's day. I would say it's strange, but it's not anymore. Nothing is when it comes to this, it's now the norm.