Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis alien invasion II

Anyone who would knowingly and repeatedly break up a family (an OM/OW) is, in my mind, a predator, and should be treated as such. It may or may not be enforceable (my atty told me that 6 months TSO was VERY customary, and not a problem for us in our sitch), but I would damned sure play the card if for no other reason than to send the message that this is NOT acceptable. This poor child needs time to grieve the end of her parents' marriage, and really, the end of her family as she's known it thus far in her life. Any father (and OW) who can't see that and respect that, really aren't in the best position to be making decisions for the child's welfare.

I'm really sorry about your step-daughter, DQ. That's just simply horrible.

Puppy

Sorry, this is probably obvious, but I meant "one of my step-child's bio-mom's boyfriends molested her".

DQ

DQ--thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so very sorry that you--and your step-daughter--had to live through this. But I am so glad that she had the stability of having you in her life. I cannot imagine having to endure this.

Just to clarify....

There is no question that OW is a predator.

Its just that, if faced with much much worse conditions, wouldn't hoosier be happier with the OW being around the D? What if, instead, hoosier's husband was running with a crowd of questionable men with questionable intentions and questionable morals and questionable histories? And what if these men were in H's home, around D?

There would still be nothing a judge or court could do....

And yet, hoosier's D would obviously be in much greater danger in that case than she is in the company of OW.

I guess all I am saying is....ALWAYS be grateful that things are not WORSE!! Because they really could be....

DQ

DQ--you're correct, there are degrees of evil and danger. And I am glad it's no worse. But it's still pretty damn bad, really.

Predator--yes. Keep in mind that back in May, when this all began, I emailed her and asked her not to pursue this relationship with H so that we could work on healing our marriage. And she absolutely declined, claimed that she was supportive of D and I, but that she and H had a deep bond and to step back would be untrue to who she wants to be--a healing presence. What a nutcase. Yeah, I'll trump that "deep bond" and raise her a marriage and a sacramental commitment. But, as it turns out, I still lose.

Ahhhh, gotcha. I see your point.

Because she ended up with the joker (The Witch-Humper). An apparent win of the pot.

But WAIT!!! YOU have the King of Kings in your hand, don't you???

Sorry, Joker. "Greater is He that is in ME, that he that is in the world!"

Puppy

Ah, pup. Well said.

So H is in Florida for a week at a conference. What a relief. But not before a flurry of emails in which he was griping about my income not being sufficient. As usual, he said he'd be happy to have D if I need to work additional hours.

And what would happen then, is that my support payments--minimal as they are--would be cut and I'd end up gone more and still in the same place financially, and D would be exposed to more craziness. Yes, I probably do need to find a job that pays me in a way more commensurate with my experience. But I have a feeling that when the time is right, the appropriate job will turn up. Meanwhile, I don't have the feeling that H is living on pasta and ramen noodles.

Methinks you are correct, Hoozhathingamajig.

How did you respond to his e-mails?

Puppy