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Moving a topic of conversation over from LuckyGirl's thread to here, where it seems to fit something that we'd talk about in one of DQ's threads:





From what Mrs. B. and I have been experiencing over the past few months, vaginal O's are something that can be learned, at least by some women, and with time, patience, and practice. Mrs. B. learned how to O through VERY direct clitoral area stimulation: first by hand, then by bathtub water (this was before the days of shower massages), and more recently by -strong- vibrator (battery operated ones still don't do it for her). Much to my chagrin, I have yet to succeed in even building her arousal state through oral stimulation, much less bring her all the way to an O: it simply isn't strong enough stimulation for her -- at least not yet.

However, as Lucky pointed out above, the internal shifts and changes that were brought about by childbirth (Mrs. B has bourn four), have caused her G-spot area (or 'clitoral cluster,' to use Ian Kerner's terminology) to become far more prominent when aroused, and far more sensitive to stimulation also. My nickname for it is the "cat's tongue," because when she is fully aroused and vaginal walls ballooned, the region becomes enlarged, 'erect' (it does contain spongy, erectile tissue which surrounds and protects the urethra), it forms a ridged tongue-shape that 'licks' my frenulum terribly (or wonderfully) when we are in a rear-entry type of position. Its increased sensitivity has permitted her to experienced 'blended' orgasms, and on two occasions now, the elusive vaginal orgasm.

The blending part has taken the most practice to get used to. If we began with clitoral stimulation and tnen added in vaginal stimulation, or inversely, began with vaginal stimulation and then layered in clitoral stimulation, the later would almost always 'distract from' the former, rather than adding to it. She's had to train herself to 'blend' the two, in order to keep the arousal building from both areas simultaneously. This has, however, now become the most common form of orgasm she has when we are together, and dense male that I am, I'm slowing getting better at reading her subtle signs and knowing when to 'ramp up' my thrusting at the right time to drive both her and myself over the edge at the same time. The additional clitoral stimulation is provided by either my hand or the Hitache -- she still generally won't 'do herself' while we're making love, despite my encouragement.

A couple of times now, I've been able to hold off my own while she has her first O (still hard for me to do), and have been able to bring her to a second O via vaginal stimulation alone -- nothing earth-shattering, in fact, pretty small O's, but there nonetheless. They've taken us each by surprise when they've occurred, so far.

I should also add -- all of the above practice and work has been MY WIFE'S doing, in cooperation with our sex therapist. I've not pushed her in one direction or another, beyond my very male desire to bring her as much pleasure as possible via my own developing SKILLZ; hand, tongue, phallus, or otherwise. I've never insisted on simultaneous or vaginal O's, but have instead let HER take the lead, for a change, and have been cooperating with her own explorations -- a very good thing, really, for both of our benefits. Go girl, GO!

-- B.

Hey Baggy. Yes, great material you've written there. I'm so happy for your wife to get to experience vaginal O's. It certainly is a whole different world, or can be. And the blended O....whew, yay!

I can say my experience is similar to your W's, except that I can have a clitoral O (hence forth called a C.O.) from oral and from moderate vibrators. I did not discover vaginal O's (hence forth V.O.) until being with my fiance. I do recall a couple of sex experiences with my ex-h where I was beginning to feel the stirrings of a V.O., but I had no clue what it was or what was happening and I never followed up on it. Then with my fiance, in the beginning of our relationship and before we really got into having sex a lot, we would instead make out a lot and during that process, I got fingered a lot. I loved it! I hadn't had this sensation since I was a teen and really enjoyed it, in fact, sometimes for what seemed like hours. During that, I was again feeling the stirrings of a V.O. but this time, I decided I wanted to understand and learn more about this feeling.

So I started doing a lot of research and for the first time, although I hadn't experineced one yet, I learned what a V.O. is and what a blended O is. I had never really understood these terms before and had only considered a C.O. to really be an O (due to my own ignorance). But it seemed that once I was beginning to learn about V.O.'s, my body just up and decided all on its own that I was gonna get to have some of those!

Shortly after I had begun to read up on V.O.'s, I had a spontaneous explosion of fluid during sex, combined with the most intense and crazy orgasm I had ever felt before! It was nothing like a C.O., although in the sense of the relief that is felt when you get that release, it was similar. For some reason, in my short studies on V.O.'s I hadn't really come across much literature about female ejaculation. So I was truly baffled here with what just happened. My fiance was not so naive. He just happily said "oh honey, you came! And it was so beautiful!"

After that, I switched my reading to not only V.O.'s but also the topic of g-spot and female ejaculation. It took me another couple of months and some sincere effort to reproduce that first spontaneous explosion V.O. I found it difficult to "let go" enough to reach that point again, although I was encouraged by the spontanous time to keep trying.

Finally I found success within myself, in a way I can't really describe. Those who know what I'm talking about would just say that there is a deep "letting go" that has to happen, and you can't consciously do it but you can consciously stop it. There is a balance that must be achieved.

Anyway, now I'm a pro and have no troubles with big, squirty V.O.'s whenever we want them. We have to be very diligent about keeping towels near the bed, because we sometimes go at it spontaneously.

I have recently been successful in a series of blended O's, and wow, they are really rocking my world! It is difficult to handle all of that - pleasure - which is so intense that it nearly feels like pain.

Anyway Baggy, and anyone else, if you have any experience with female ejaculation, that would be a topic I could speak on a little bit. But in my experience I haven't found that many people who do have experiencew with it so I end up feeling a bit strange to even bring up the topic.

But Baggy you're a real trouper for being so open, smart, caring, and yet intelligently sensual. I pray so that you and Mrs. Baggy will get to the same place together at the same time. Blessings to you both. Your journey has helped so many others which you probably will never know about.

DQ

Oh and P.S....when I said on Lucky's thread that I doubted I'd ever have an O from intercourse alone, I meant a C.O. I have had V.O.'s now from intercourse....yay me!

DQ

Don't feel strange at all. Mrs. B has experienced female ejaculation, 'gushing' or 'spurting,' as it's called, on many occasions now. From talking to her about it, it generally occurs when she's by herself with the Hiatache, and giving herself a -long- string of orgasms, each spaced about 2-3 minutes apart -- she has this down to an art, and as I've indicated before, has given herself up to 23 individual O's in an hours time. In general, she says that they tend to build in intensity and get better with each successive one, and frequently end in a explosive and very nice 'gusher.' This is entirely by herself, however.

With me, she still feels more inhibited, and very embarassed and self-conscious by such strings of O's and gushing. This despite praise and encouragement from me to the contrary. Thus, to date, she's only gushed a few times with me, and while very nice, the O's are never quite as good as she can give to herself, by herself. I'm not discouraged, however -- I know that THAT is how sexual exploration begins -- she'll eventually feel comfortable enough to fully LET GO, when I'm there too.

-- B.

Interesting....so far, I haven't gushed from a C.O. Although I can feel it very close to happening. I have only gushed from finger or penile penetration and a big V.O. at the same time. I can't wait to someday gush from a C.O.! Whee! I saw that in a movie once...which I was only watching for "research" value.

DQ

WELL< GOLLY MISS MOLLY!! .................. lol

Today I decided to pop over to DQs thread because shes been so much help for me, and wowza! lol I fell into this, he he.......
AND,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I think I'm confused lol
So, excuse my nativity here , and perhaps my bluntness in a moment. lol

Are you saying there are 3 times of O's ? Cause, uh oh.......... I'm missing out then.... ( well, when I'm having sex again that is ) but, I want to know desperately now.

Here's the bluntness part....... I am a multiple girl.. lol Pick a number and I'm good to go. BUT, I think I'm confused at the V.O> that your talking about. Unless your meaning a G spot O, then I get it? Are u ?

I'll leave it at that, cause I feel a little silly having to ask.

Lacking the requisite equipment, I'm not the most qualified to answer this question, but I'll see if I can do Ian Kerner proud (author of She Comes First!). Going by DQ's terminology:

(1) C.O. = an orgasm through some form of -external- clitoral area stimulation.
(2) V.O. = an orgasm through some form of -internal- vaginal stimulation, generally of the G-spot area.
(3) What I called a "Blended Orgasm" is one which occurs through some -simultaneous combination- of both external, clitoral area stimulation and internal, G-spot area stimulation.

It should be noted that in reality, ALL female orgasms are 'clitoral' in nature, because what we see/feel as the external clitoris is really just the "tip of the iceburg" for an internal, 'wishbone-shaped' complex network of erectile tissue and very sensitive nerve endings. External clitoris stimulation (the -most- sensitive spot) 'tickles' the top of the network, while internal G-spot stimulation ''tickles' the bottom of the network. It's all connected and part of an intricate, beautiful whole, however.

-- B.

I must have been busy, I totally missed all this C.O. and V.O. and C./V.O. stuff.

I can say with almost certainty that Mrs. Cinco has only had the C.O. variety. At least it is fairly easy for her to reach C.O., especially orally. I still think that there is some fear or lack of interest in exploring her own body. If it feels good why not make it feel even better?

The times I have tried to help her explore her G-spot digitally, never go over so well. She can't seem to get over the intense sensation of feeling like she needs to urinate, so stops it short of and O. Maybe she is just inhibited and self-conscience about it like your wife B?

Sex therapy would be nice. Who knows maybe someday she would go.

The way I understand is that the got-to-pee feeling is part of the build up. Is that right DQ?

While we are on this topic. There is a similar G-spot for guys, the prostate. The trouble is you have to get over the idea of where you have to put your finger to get to it (I think we all know where that is). It's actually not so bad with the proper cleaning. I've only ever experienced this solo but it can produce quite an intense O.

Cinc-O

Diane - yeah, what Baggy said!

Plus there is one other type of O which I didn't mention on this post, and that is a mental orgasm. Some people can literally "think" themselves to orgasm without any physical stimulation. Also, this is what happens when we have an O in our sleep...it is considered a mental orgasm too, because your mind causes your body to do it without stimulation.

And Cinco...

Yes, that feeling that you need to pee is very confusing! Because you don't actually need to pee. I remember before I had my first spontaneous gusher, I kept having that need to pee feeling while he was fingering me. I would stop him periodically and say "wow, I know I already peed before we started but I'm going to go again just to make sure"...then I would go in the bathroom, sit down, but nothing would happen. It would be very confusing. Then we'd go back to making out and fingering, and I'd get that sensation again. It is just slightly different than needing to pee, but it is very difficult to discern the difference before you really get used to it. And the first time I had a spontaneous gusher, I did have that feeling a tiny bit, but it had changed into something much more intense to the extent that I finally realized it was something different than the feeling of needing to pee....when I just relaxed and "went with it" is when I gushed.

Ever since then, I can easily tell the difference between needing to gush and needing to pee. They seem like totally different feelings now - where once they felt the same.

Good point also about the male G-spot! Lets not forget our men have a happy button, too! :0)

DQ

Baggy wrote on his thread:

"I've come a long way in learning to relish in the moment, and enjoy the journey, but the female ability to thoroughly enjoy only a partial-journey some of the time is still a bit foreign to my male brain -- I would be frustrated. I've already found myself plotting how I could make it even hotter for her next time so that she -does- come with me, which is missing your points, above."

I had been meaning to get back to this and make a point...figured I would do it here on my thread...

Maybe other women can chime in here too as I'm not sure I'm normal this way but....

There is a difference between the urge to have a (clitoral) orgasm, and the urge to get f*cked, and these two urges can be completely separate. One urge may lead to the other but maybe not. Both urges may come on you together at the same time, but not always. Getting one (either an O or getting f*cked) may cause the urge for the other. They can be ala carte though.

So in men's experience, the urge to f*ck and the urge to have an O must be nearly the same urge or feeling, and that is why to Baggy, it would seem to be a frustration for a woman to get f*cked but not get an O. But for me, I can get f*cked and certainly have no urge to have an O and yet it is still an amazing experience....there is no way to underestimate that urge to get and that feeling you get from being f*cked.

If you think about it from nature's standpoint, a female doesn't need to have an O in order to want to get impregnated, so maybe that will help this make more sense to a man?

I don't know, Baggy, if you're reading, does this make any sense at all?

- - - - - -

My own update: Mr. DQ and I sat down to talk about wedding plans this weekend and are tenatively shooting for August or early September, just a nice elopement and then 9 days in Hawaii....yay!

DQ