I suggested N.U.T.S to NG to go along with NMMNG as reading on how to own your feelings and set boundaries for yourself because a lot of us "nice guys" struggle so much with that that we lose the respect of our S as well as our own self-respect. Owning your feelings is different than defending them. When you own them you don't need to defend them...why would you, they are yours. The problem comes in when you try to defend them because then you are projecting them onto the other person and trying to make them come around to your way of thinking which is wrong. You have your feelings, they have theirs...if they are the same then great, if not you have to agree to disagree in which there is nothing wrong with that.
Puppy,
Thanks for the support. It's really hard to not try to offer a solution since my job is coming up with solutions for problems and I did it through our entire M but it gets easier the more I do it which makes me feel good as it hammers home that the changes I'm making for me are permanent and will help me no matter what the outcome.
