Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers The adventure continues- part 4

Hi AF,

That is interesting, for sure. What book is that in?

To be honest, while I thought it was beautiful that you were "right there" with your forgiveness, I was doubtful that it was absolute. I was guessing that once you reconciled, resentment might emerge then and you'd have to work through those feelings and reach a truer forgiveness down the road.

My sister used to say that men process later than women. I have no evidence to reference for the validity of that statement. My point is that maybe your anger has yet to really peak. She's been pretty horrible to you, and sometimes I feel more anger and disgust about her actions than YOUR posts seem to show!

I'm not saying that anger is healthy, especially if you get stuck in it. I do think it has its purpose, though, in the process of recognizing the parts of yourself that have been harmed, healing, and building a stronger future for yourself.

Still in awe of your resilience and determination to fight. Good for you!

Lucky

AFW - I agree with LG. I thought the same thing. You may "say" you forgave her right away, but, probably only because you wanted your life back. Is your heart truly ready to forgive someone who blew your vows, and STILL hasn't truly reconciled her feelings, and shown remorse? Give yourself time. You deserve it.

How Can I Forgive You? by Janis Abrahms Spring



Pretty much what the book says. Basically, I'm the type of person that wants it to end quickly and get back to the status quo?



Could be, although I'm pretty angry at times lately and extremly tired. I can't wait for this to be over! Where's that remote control from Click?

I'd say part of that is true. I was ready to forgive. The part I'm having a problem with is that she still hasn't reconciled her feelings and shown appropriate remorse. Ugh, more time--it seems like everything takes time. I miss the old days where time just flew by.

AF:

What happened to the plan of run, run, run, busy, busy, busy? What is on your itinerary for the next two days? Fill it up!! Gym, haircut, movie, dinner, racquetball.... Do you have a good male friend nearby to hang out with? Family members?

Lucky

Had work this morning, got a haircut, just got done running and lifting weights, have to get a shower and I have a mission this afternoon. Still tired though, trying not to overindulge in caffiene. No good male friends near by. Family members in another state. Only way to really stay busy and not have to work is to win the lottery. You don't by chance have the winning numbers, do you?

Haha! I mean aside from work, of course!

Man, that's got to be lonely, not having a buddy around. Do the people you work with socialize at all? Are there any places nearby that you can take a class just one night a week? Martial Arts? Art? A hobby of some sort? Something like that?

Lucky

I'm in a unit where most are married and/or 20 something years old. At this point, after work I have to go get my D from daycare, go home, cook dinner while she does homework, yada, yada, yada. I'm trying to think of a hobby but I live in the redneck rivera and other than drinking and fishing I haven't come up with much. I am patiently(or in my case, not so patiently)waiting to see what happens with my promotion with the hope that I get staioned in a major city. We'll see. If I don't then maybe scuba diving--pretty fun, huh? Trying to go the rest of the day with no more negative self-talk though.

Fantastic, remember this is not a sprint...This will not kill you, detatch from all that troubles you...

Burt

Long day today. This is going to be harder than I thought being in the military as a single parent. I'm going to have engage wife on this. She has to take some responsibility unfortunately. I would love to not have to rely on her. I have to work late sometimes so the wife is going to have to pick up my D. So, I have to be nice to the wife even she's the one that did all this. I know, be a man, chin up. Still looking for those lotto numbers, anyone got them?