I'm sorry to hear things are so bad. The money situation and the stress certainly go hand in hand. Of course being down to your last $100. on April 15 means that you have to mail it to IRS (LOL). I wish I had some answers for you. I hope that he will find some work soon.
Happy belated birthday. I am sorry things have gotten so rough for you. It does seem that the whole universe is trying to fall off its axis, as everyone seems to be going through some serious difficulties right now.
Thank you. I know it. The world is just crazy right now, I hope something gives soon.
My son's make me smile everyday, I am thankful for that!
S3 decided easter morning that instead of peeling the hard boiled egg, he wanted to eat it just the way it was, and I let him. I asked him if it was good and he said "it's dood Mommy"..crunch crunch!!! I only let him take two bites and said ok that's enough.This is the same kid that won't eat vegetables.. what's that about????
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
The Mid-Life Crisis chapter in MWD`s divorce remedy really helped me. It could be that your H is going through that. He`s obviously under a huge amount of stress and is taking it out on everyone closest to him.At least from his blow up with S6 you know he`s not just picking on you. And that none of this is your fault despite whatever blame he`s trying to level on you. The other plus is that he has a best friend to whom he can talk. And he did apologize to your son so he has the capability to see the error of his ways.
What to do?
This is what I`m working on right now. Only five days on but I see tiny glimmers of progress. (Mind you its more of a two steps forward one step back situation right now.)
Listen to him and don`t jump on the defensive if he`s picking a fight.Just don`t get mad back.Get mad after or before but don`t let him see he`s upsetting you. "I`m sorry you feel like that" then leave might just be the ticket to diffuse the situation.
If he wants to leave let him. Don`t beg or plead or ask for him back.He needs space anyway. So do you.
Keep making space for yourself. Get new hobbies. Find something anything especially something you haven`t done in a while. Getting outdoors in some shape or form can literally run the wind through your problems, get you away from it all and destress you. Only you can make you happy.Money is tight and I`m sure your time is too but find at least 20 min for you somewhere to do your special thing.My thing right now is to go play the piano.
Go out with your gfs! Cinema, coffee, and chat, chat, chat will really perk you up. You need a break from the madness.
Being where you(and I) are at right now is a crazy place. You can get caught up in the craziness of it all and whirl around grasping anything that comes your way. try and calm your spirit. Meditation is good.So are aspirations. My current one is "I am calm in the storm and I know everything is working out for my highest good'
Get to bed early. Read, sleep, meditate, heal there. I`m a great sleeper now and can face things better cos I`m well rested.
Get MWDs divorce rememedy. Really you`ve just enrolled in a university level course that involves a ton of reading, study and personal research. Expect it to be a long haul. Be patient, be kind and love and mind yourself.
Doncha just love how kids bounce back, forget the past and try something different(eg egg crunching!) They`re telling us something you know!
I hear everything your saying, but ive done all this before. I've been at this since july 06'. For the past few days i've been seperating myself from him a bit, and he has been running doing estimates for the past 2 days, so he hasn't been around, which is good for me right now.
One day at a time, this wkend will be busy, so that's good.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Happy belated birthday, my friend!!! I didn't know we were the same age!? Welcome to 37, I've been here since September.
Good job walking out on him with the kids. Absolutely necessary. Not because you or the boys were in danger, but because you needed to "Mommy up" and show him that he is an adult and needs to handle his problems and show patience like we all have to.
I agree, wait until there is some breathing room with finances (sorry about that, so hard!), then start talking with him. Until then though, it should be clear that he needs to treat everyone with respect.
