Hi Lisa...I do believe we were in Newcomers togetber last winter?
So great to hear your news!!!
I think it would be a great story for Minnie in MLC to read right now, her H has just decided to move out and she's very shaken up.
Also I COMPLETELY related to your comments about taking your M for granted before. That's exactly what I did. We were crazy about each other in the beginning, a great match by everyone's account.
I got complacent, I expected unconditional love, acceptance of my temper, sarcasm, etc. I had NO idea how many of my behaviours were eating like acid at my H's self esteem, happiness and feelings for me.
Wow Shinybear, your sit sounds exactly like mine. I did all those same things. What a fool I was, now I get to ponder all the wasted time when we could have been having a wonderful time instead. Lisa
Quote: Quoting Shinbear: I got complacent, I expected unconditional love, acceptance of my temper, sarcasm, etc. I had NO idea how many of my behaviours were eating like acid at my H's self esteem, happiness and feelings for me.
This was me, also. When I think back to the way I was, I just feel soo bad, but there's nothing I can do about the past. I do feel my eyes have been opened and I do not want to go back to being the person that I was either.
Cathy, nope, nothing we can do about the past except learn from it. We can only make today and the future better. Obviously a lot of regret on this BB. Don't worry about the tielbeagle thing, I didn't even notice it til you pointed it out! Lisa
I thought I ready some where that it takes one month of DB for every year that you've been married or something like that. I noticed that it took 19 months for you and you've also been married that long. We've were married six years in August and he'll be gone five months next week.
I'm hoping my story turns out similar to yours, that he'll eventually come around more and get through some of the MLC stuff and see that it can be different. He's told me a couple of times that he didn't get married to get divorced, but then this is a man who changes what he says every five minutes.
I do notice he's not as angry as when he first left, boy he was ugly and mean to me, but has gotten soo much better.
Glad to see that things are pretty much working for you. I've actually been wondering a bit lately how you've been doing.
Of course I remember.....you were one of the first to help me out when I first got here at DB last May. And I have to thank you for that, too. Your contributions have helped me cope with this.
My M went the other way, though. There has been a lot happen since then. Now I'm over in "surviving", but she has been delaying serving me yet. She says it's because she currently can't afford to finish it. Still waiting for that. I'm not DBing any longer, just trying to make sense of everything, keep the PMA up, and trying to do more than survive.
Interesting how you found that a different outlook for you made a large difference in your M. Maybe you could bottle it and send it over to my STBXW. She could certainly use a change of attitude. Am hoping your H continues to repond in a positive manner, and do some piecing himself.
Anyway, I am wishing the best for you and continued success in your M. Drop by anytime.
Cathy, that's why I said that this is the "magic month" for us right now. Michelle does say to give it approximately 1 month for each year of M. Sorry to hear your H has been so wishy washy. usually it's us women that are like that!!!!!
Glad to hear he's getting better. This MLC is something else, I swear my H said things that were so unlike him AND he doesn't ever remember saying some of it now!! The folks here who liken them to aliens are right on!!!! Lisa
Thanks for the kind words, Rob. I certainly fell like one of the lucky ones. The lucky ones seem to few and far between. I hope I'm not deluding myself. H may be just going with the flow because it's easier than the alternative. He always was easy going. But at least I know I treat him a lot better now.
Your situation will turn out like it's supposed to. Hang in there, if it isn't your wife in the long run, it will someone else more worht your time and effort. Take care, Lisa
