Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy I've come full circle #26

I have a "friend" like that, too. My H says that whenever I talk to her she brings out "dark" feelings in me. That can't be good. I, too, plan on the occasional get together and to stop seeking her out.

I don't know about your girl, but mine is a user...she uses me emotionally and and she uses me to watch her kids or get something MORE out of whatever situation arises. These type of people always find someone else to suck the life out of. She already has. I've pulled back and now all of the sudden a new girl is coming up in coversation and how she has dinner over there, etc. So, yep, she found someone else to USE. She doesn't like being alone with her kids, so she always would try to come over around dinner whenever her bf wasn't around. As you can see I'm angry about it. YOu should see the "rant" I typed up on my computer so that I wouldn't blast it at her.

So, what I'm saying is, I agree with letting someone out of your life that is not bringing positives into it. My "friend" made me feel bad about myself too (told me I was fat, didn't like my hair, told me I was a "taker", told me that I am not an ambitious person and is why I stayed home with my son, said she could never be a stay at home mom because she has to use her BRAIN, etc.) We don't need those kind of people.

I guess all of us have had friends that weren't healthy for us. I had one for years that was always unhappy about something. Even when my mother was dying of cancer, she still had worse problems than mine. I guess the clincher was at my mother's funeral. We had the funeral in the city we lived in, but her burial was 60 miles away in the town she grew up in, so we were driving our own car. My girls were 4 and 7. My "friend" had the nerve to ask me if her 6 year old daughter could ride with my H, girls, and me because their air conditioner was out. Here was the most devastating day of my life and she was asking me to babysit her 6 year old daughter. My H told her we didn't have room because another one of my friends was riding with us to help me with the girls. Needless to say our friendship didn't last much longer. I can honesly say I have never regretted ending that friendship.

Kat, you do not have to be around her to let her "drain" you. You need people who are there for you!

I do agree and thanks for stopping by ladies. It is hard to let it go. Not devastating but this is the same gal who had me as her matron of honor in her wedding until she found out I was pregnant. Then when I had the baby early she was saying if she knew that was going to happen then I still could have been in the wedding.

She basically shut me out for a year while I was drowning in new motherhood and they were newlyweds. These slights have hurt and yet I have stuck around. Am I a glutton for punishment or what?

I remember even once while I was dating this guy, she said you aren't treating him right, why don't you break up with him and then he would go out with me!!

There won't be any announcement, maybe more of an internal thought process more than anything. A mental clean sweep perhaps.

kat

About the friend, I've had a few friends like that too. One stole from me and other stuff, and I still couldn't bear to cut off the friendship. I did eventually kind of contact her less & less and it died a natural slow death though. We were friends for years and years though, at least I was a friend to her. I think I'm the kind of person that hates to give up Rs even when I obviously should. Maybe you're like that too???

How you doing this weekend??? Karen

I am brutally being reminded that I am a woman! lol Back aches, stomach aches and just that naturally hyped up sensitivity that comes with it. (sorry guys, she asked).

I am just a very loyal person and usually accept people how they are. I am sure part of this R involves the number of years but at the same time, she isn't being positive. When I get upset about skank being around my kids when he should be building HIS R with the kids, she just says well they have had a long term relationship!! PLEASE!, One that is built on lies and adultery and skulking around but whatever!

She doesn't get it. Not that she likes my ex but really some of the stuff she has said and done in the past makes me feel like she just wants it better than me and maybe she is "enjoying" my world fall apart a bit too much.

kat

She sounds kind of negative and toxic. I've really been making a lot of friends lately that are more supportive & positive. It makes such a big difference. Maybe we're more aware now as to that kind of stuff too than we used to be or maybe we just don't want to put up with that anymore? Karen

I think it is a bit of both. I don't need it and won't put up with it from her anymore. Now it bothers me that she wants to know every move with flirt guy. Like I said she knows him too but didn't keep in touch any better than I had. Funny like that when you are married.

I know right now I am not in the best state of mind or body to be figuring this all out but it is staring me in the face. Needs to be done.

kat

Anyone want to take my ex away please??? he can't seem to let me get through one major issue in my life without throwing something new on the plate.

He isn't happy with the parenting plan. Wants another night and have the kids spend the night both night with him & skank(once he moves in with her). She lives ca 40 minutes away. During school I can't even imagine the chaos of 3 extra people to contend with plus the 40 minute drive. I don't think he is thinking of them, just what he wants. He has now threatened me with mediation or court what ever it takes to get his way.

Any advice?? (Oh and posted in surviving to see if they had ideas too.)

kat

I don't think a 40 minute drive to school is healthy for the kids. That would mean they would lose sleep due to having to get up earlier. That is NOT in the best interest of the kids. A judge would see the same thing I would think. During the summer may be another matter, but during school I'd say "No way."

I would hope but you never know. Not sure how healthy they would think it was to be put in this situation without marriage either but that may just make them jump in feet first. How in the world could I ever been married to him???