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I agree

For myself I agree about the continued wearing of the ring, but for those whose SP is still in WAS-mode, you should probably tread lightly with it. I can see where if you continued to wear it and call attention to it that it could be seen as a form of pursuit of the WAS.

PortlandDad,

That is a very good point. I would presume that it that case you may want to wear the ring if you not going to see your wife. During any interaction with her I may not wear it, though for me, my wife not wearing her engagement, wedding ring and the eternity ring I bought her would be tough to see.

My wife took hers off a while back and replaced it some other old ring on that finger, I am not sure what to make of that. But never the less this is a valid point made by Portland, I am contemplating this as well. I do not want to pursue anymore I have done enough of that for 7 months and all though I still find it hard not too I still have a problem that being, we live in a very small town use the same bank and grocery store and what not. So it is hard to avoid at times. So I try to move on with my business and leave as much as it kills me not to be able to walk up to her and put my arms around her or kiss her and tell her how much I love and miss her I have to do it.

Me too Sorrow. I desperately want to put my arms around my wife and try and snap her out of this fog she is in. I am wondering what she is doing and who she is with and its driving me nuts. Nevertheless, I have to try and block it all out and concentrate on my children and my own well-being. The D is forging on a great speed for whatever reason and it is going to get worse before it gets any better. I have to be prepared for that and I have to prepare for the worst/realistic as well. I will not give up as I am sure you won't, it is just knowing when to drop the rope and move on, between the two of us I am sure that both of us want the same thing and will continue to work as hard as we can and be patient and pray.

I think the question of what to do about the ring is tough and there are no firm answers. You make your own rules.

I'm not taking mine off my left hand until the state says the D is final. Then I'm moving it to my right as a symbol of our friendship.

She lost her ring a year or so ago and recently gave up the search and filed the insurance claim. She's trying to save the $ but has ended up spending some of it on bills and car repairs. It's so sad to see such a beautiful thing wash into the everyday mush of bills and expenses. I knew this would happen sometime because she was always taking the ring off and forgetting where she put it, like misplacing car keys but more important. I was bitter about it because it was such a unique ring. I never said anything about it during the year it was gone but then again I never offered to search for it or provide a replacement (even temporary). Now look where that got me.

Hi Sorrow,

I hope you are well. I found out this moring my wife stayed out over night when she had told my daughter and son she had 'slept in' at home until 11am which she never does. This is our first seperated weekend and it looks like she is now into a PA, which I can barely write. She was obviuosly waiting until we were seperated before she moved to OM, but I feel devastated. She did ring me to ask how my weekend went with the children, I told her and desperately wanted to ask her where she had been, but I didn't, I did not even ask her how her weekend went, I then ended the call. I feel terrible.

I've beeen debating the ring question myself. She told me that she wanted to sell her ring to pay for a divorce lawyer. So obviously she isn't wearing hers. I took mine off for a couple of days, but it just doesn't feel right. I don't want to deal with the world thinking of me as single. Anyone want to make the argument that you really can't wear it as it will be interpreted as pursuit?

I don't think it's a sign of pursuit...I think it's a sign of committment...same as it was when you first put it on. I don't believe she's gonna sell her ring to pay for anything...I think she told you that just to hurt you. My wife hasn't been wearing hers for awhile now...I don't know why...she has her own reasons...I had to detatch from it. I don't much think about it right now.