Mike, when were you in your 20's? Way back I was more covert about it & not as likely to talk about it either. You know, it was the dark ages & nice girls didn't..... Besides most of my friends had brothers & just thought the whole thing was pretty gross & disgusting LOL
Betcha that 15 yr old girl was doing it on a bet. She must have been some hell raiser. Ahem, had more balls than you did? Her friends' moms probably worried a lot
It is nice to remember when it was all fun tho. j
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
LOL I missed out of one of the great discussions here.
Sigh... If only Mrs. Cinco realized just how lucky she is to have a specimen such as mine to admire. I even asked her a few months ago if she "checks me out" when I nude.
"Eeewww NO, why would I do that?"
I have had many compliments over the years too. Sigh... I want her to like seeing me.
I check out mostly hair, legs, asses... and SHOES not necessarily viewed in that order. The shoe thing can be rather embarrassing, as it is difficult to sneak a peak that far down. (If you don't already know it by now, Cinco is starving for sexy shoes! I just love those things!) Although if there is a particularly nice bosom I'll admire that too, especially when nice cleavage is involved.
Well you chimed in late, but better than never, Cinco! :0)
I'm sorry Mrs. C doesn't admire your specimin. That must hurt. But be happy you have a nice one, eh? The alternative would be a bummer!
When I was married, my ex-h had no eyes for boobs at all, so mine may as well have not existed. I remember trying to get him interested, and all I got was dead air. (My butt, on the other hand, was apparently his magic ticket). Anyway I remember that other men were always trying to get a peek at my boobs, but my own husband couldn't care less. And since I love boobs too, I just thought he was weird in this way.....I have learned a lot since then about preferences, and about how some men just are not that into x, y, or z....but are instead totally into a, b, and c....and that we can't stereotype guys as all "boob men" because, they just aren't all "boob men". Some are hair and shoe men!
My fiance is a boob man and he also just assumes that "all men" are "boob men". He thinks it is somehow just natural for all men to be attracted to boobs....he doesn't realize that a). not all men are foremost attracted to them, and b). some women ARE foremost attracted to them. He is used to relating to the world as if everyone thinks the same way he does. Something I used to be guilty of, too....because I used to assume that, not just all men, but all people were attracted to boobs....just because I was, I couldn't understand why all women weren't into them, too. Made no sense to me.
Mr. DQ and I continue to make emotional progress. The fighting that had plagued our relationship has been tempered into basically nothing. We still get off base sometimes, but I have finally learned how not to go into a danger zone. And he is following suit so well that I don't think he has even noticed. I think that he thinks we have magically just gotten all better. But that's ok, I'll take the credit on my own. He has really pulled his half of the game up too, without even realizing it.
So now I am back to being madly in love and we're trying (for the third time now) to figure out a wedding date and place. He finally admitted to me that he didn't want to go to the carribean so it will more likely be Hawaii. We will just elope with no guests, which was always our plan.
As for sex....that all fixed itself, too. Once we got out of dangerous emotional territory, its all been great again. We are back to 2 - 3 times per week, with each time being better than the rest. As usual, I got my world rocked this weekend and I'm literally walking on air today. People who work with me just think I am naturally in a good mood all the time. LOL!
And now that we've made some progress on the house (at least to the extent that we have two large areas completed) we can sit around and enjoy it a little now and then. Previously, we were constantly working and tired and kinda going crazy in the construction dust. Now we have our jazzy little lounge (living room) and our bed & breakfast style new bedroom (way more room than the bedroom we had been in previously) and it just feels fun and great to hang out together. My kids are so insanely jealous, because they grew up in this house and it never looked like this before. They jokingly tell the grandbaby "Don't be fooled honey, this house may be where I grew up but its totally different now! As in, its NICE now!" LOL! And it just keeps getting nicer.
The plan now is to stay for a year or two, get married this year, and then when we are ready to sell, we might actually look at relocating....a big step for both of us.
OK and random topic for the day: Hey Baggy, if you are reading, you never told me if you and Mrs. Baggy got to see Secretary together? And anyone else who is reading, did you see Secretary and what did you think of it???
Oooohhhhh, Hawaii! LOVE IT, DQ! My favorite idea for a wedding is to elope, and I wanted to, but H was worried that his family would be disappointed. So... We tried to do a not-too-traditional ceremony and dinner instead. But, you know, something got lost in all of the hooplah. We were so stressed out that some of the romance was stolen away. I'm all for running away!
I looked up Secretary online. I'm going to see if it is "on demand" on cable.
So glad (and not suprised at all) that you and Mr. DQ are doing great!
Lucky...I loved that movie, and I think most women really do. Men don't get it sometimes but women do. All of my female friends and my adult daughter just raved on it before I ever saw it. Now I own it (and the soundtrack, too).
I hope you find it and watch it! I doubt it is "on demand" as it is older and they don't seem to have really great movies that often.
Thank you for sharing your wedding experience...you know I went back and forth for a long time, thinking "oh maybe I should at least give my mom and kids the chance to see me in my dress" ... but then I'd flash forward to what you are describing, me all stressed out about the frickin' caterers etc, when all I really wanted to do was be happy and in love and stare in my lover's eyes....so I have continually rejected the small gathering wedding. Mr. DQ doesn't have any family around so his side of the equation is out of the picture. If he wanted to do a wedding for his own reasons, I would have happily complied. But he would be happy just going to a judge and signing a piece of paper...hmm....while I can downgrade to eloping, I can't quite do the signing a piece of paper only, LOL! So a private ceremony with just us and a minister in Hawaii is our common ground.
Thanks LG! You are always so sweet and supportive.
Hey DQ - I'm so glad that your wedding plans are back on. I know for a while there you weren't sure you two could make it past the fighting.
When Mrs. Cinco and I married we had both families and friends. I wouldn't call it a large wedding but it was not small either. It was a evening wedding so no food. Only the two cakes and drinks which cut down on a lot of planning. Fairly low key yet still a touch of pressure.
We later said that we wish we had eloped but looking back we get many comments about how beautiful the ceremony was from those who attended. If I were to do it now I know I would lean towards the elope side of the equation. It would make it a much more personal experience for the couple. As you say looking into your lover's eyes with complete happiness.
Hi Cinco! I'm so happy you came and gave us an update and had your first day of work. Woo hoo! How does it feel to be back to the grind? We're so happy for you!
On your thread you talked about a disappointing sex experience. It made me think of responding, so I decided to do that here on my thread.
On the topic of...bad sex experiences and gracefully getting out of them.
I know that most people in this forum have such histories with their spouses that when a sex experience starts to go bad, they suddenly feel anxiety and don't know how to fix it without pissing the other person off or making the other person feel inadequate. And then both parties start losing arousal and/or feel pressured to perform or finish, etc. I was in that dilemma many times in my marriage.
In my current relationship, there hasn't been the history of bad experiences, but we do have the usual things that can make any couple start having a bad experience in the moment...ie: one or both partners is totally wiped out tired, one or both is too preoccupied to devote their whole attention, one or both just "isn't getting there" maybe due to too much to drink or the weather being too hot, etc.
So I now have experienced what I wish I could have experienced during my marriage. The graceful and simple act of deciding that "tonight the sex ain't working out, but I can't wait until we can try again tomorrow, baby".
In my marriage, I wish I knew how to say this and truly mean it and truly go for sex again the next day.
But I know that if I could go back in time, I could do exactly that. I do it now in my current relationship, and really, it actually kind of makes sex (when it happens next) better than usual! Its like, whenever one or both of us just can't give all of our attention to the task at hand for any reason, one of just says gently what I said above. Both of us or just one of us might then decide to masterbate. Either right there next to our partner, or in another room, depending on the sitch. Or both of us might just go to sleep or do something else. We both know that when we do come back to the task, we will be even more frustrated for each other, and that tends to make the sex better (when it is a healthy frustration).
I know, I know...most of you have too many past hurts to feel comfortable doing this...or you are just tired of sexual frustration so you aren't willing to stop in the moment even if it is headed toward a bad sexual experience. But if you just try it a few times...just try saying "I can see you are just too tired and I'll catch up with you tomorrow, darling"....in fact you might find that sometimes your partner then steps up his or her game. Sometimes out of pride, they want to show you they ARE up for the task, right now! This might seem like pity, especially if you are used to getting pity sex from your partner. So you will have to decide in the moment if you want to accept the pity sex, new enthusism or not. I'd say, don't accept it if that's what it feels like. But in that moment, you might really want it, even as a pity gift! That's ok too! Sometimes pity sex is actually a gift from the heart, so be open to that gift so your spouse can re-arrange his or her ability to give it to you. (Note: I don't think you should ever really accept pity sex, but I do think you should re-arrange your notion of what pity sex looks like in your marriage so you can find out if there is another category of sex that's not pity but instead, truly a giving act. Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. But do look for it.)
Being able to gracefully step out of a bad sexual experience should lessen the need for pity sex anyway. And it *might* cause new desire to enter the scene. There have been several times when my man has been too tired or pre-occupied, and I've said "baby we're both just too tired tonight, I'll get up for a ride in the morning". Suddenly it sparks his desire and wakes him up. Something about me just being able to be graceful about my feelings of rejection or frustration makes him feel more sexual again. Like me being aloof and *real* about it and not making a big deal out of it, puts the wind back in his sails immediately! Not always, but it surprised me the first several times this happened, so that's why I mention it. There is something a little bit *cool* and *sexy* about you when you can walk away from it without having a bad attitude.
Anyway welcome back Cinco....and check in whenever you can!
not necessarily viewed in that order. The shoe thing can be rather embarrassing, as it is difficult to sneak a peak that far down. (If you don't already know it by now, Cinco is starving for sexy shoes! I just love those things!) Although if there is a particularly nice bosom I'll admire that too, especially when nice cleavage is involved.