Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I'm feeling so discouraged

I'm going to think some more about moving. I need to make sure it's what's right for us and not something that I'm doing to run away from the problems here. They've offered to keep us in their home, but I don't think they realize what they'd really be getting into. I hinted at maybe moving a little while ago and he flipped out saying that his kids weren't going to go anywhere and that he was not going to miss out on their lives.

He tried getting me to pick up the kids early . . . again. He said it was because they were bored. I told him that I had made plans for the night and he was like, go figure. Then he told me that we were going to alternate weekends from now on. He gets all bent out of shape when I have plans when the kids are gone. He was rude the last time too and gave me a really hard time. I don't understand why he acts like that. It's so not fair to the kids to go from having him home everyday and being a constant presence in his life to seeing him only on the weekends. Now he's taking two of those weekends away for what? It can't be because of me. I know it's a common theme, but I don't understand what he's thinking. How can he think that this isn't affecting them when he was wounded to the core when his parents divorced and he was 33?

Should I talk to him about this and at least get an explaination? Is this something that's common with the WAS?

They don't have a problem being mean and rude. You can't understand why he acts like that...so don't try! He doesn't care right now. You can't understand what he's thinking...so don't try! He doesn't care if it's affecting them right now! Yeah...it's typical!

They go through a 'selfish' phase, and there is NOTHING that you can say or do that will change their mind. So don't try. They are 'different people' right now...they are not the same people that we fell in love with and married. It's a hard thing...hard to understand the situation, and even harder to do the necessary things we MUST do!

Should I say anything to him about it?

Only if you want to make him mad. He is able to justify anything that he does, to himself. And that's the only person he is thinking about right now...himself. It is very typical of WAS to display this type of self centered, 'selfish' behavior.

Yeah, I didn't think so either. So him saying I should come and get them because the hockey game is coming on and they won't have anything to do is part of this extreme selfishness? What should I say to that?

Just realize that this is the way they (WAS) are at this stage of the game. Don't say anything about it...if you want the kids, then go get them. I know it's hard...real hard. You are not alone. Many of us here are in the same type of circumstances.

I feel like he's testing me to see if I'll cave or something. I did text him back and say that while I was sorry they were going to be bored, it was his time with them and that the would be ok until the game was done. We'll see how that goes over.

I feel like he's testing me to see if I'll cave or something. I did text him back and say that while I was sorry they were going to be bored, it was his time with them and that the would be ok until the game was done. We'll see how that goes over.

I feel like he's testing me to see if I'll cave or something. I did text him back and say that while I was sorry they were going to be bored, it was his time with them and that the would be ok until the game was done. We'll see how that goes over.

Good enough. I think you did fine.