Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again First Piecing Thread

I'm sorry, Pup. Let us know how we can help.

Thanks. I'll be starting a thread soon.

Hi all. Back from the long weekend away and boy oh boy, IT WAS JUST WHAT I NEEDED.

Going back to last Tuesday, W was in the middle of her huge mood swings. Continued Tuesday night. I won't go into it, but she was all over the map. I basically was polite when she wanted to talk but the rest of the night I just did my own thing.

Wed on the way out the door for work I told her I'd see her Sunday and she waved at me. That was it.

I didn't contact her at all Wed. S17 and I left before she got home from work. We went to my mom's house and had a mini birthday party for S17. Thursday we left for Michigan.

Right on que, Thurs about noon W TM's me about nothing, I'm assuming just to make contact. I was polite, but didn't really get into any kind of conversation. Friday, didn't hear a thing from her. Saturday afternoon she started TM'ing me like crazy. I was polite again, but tried to end the conversations. She asked me if I wanted to go shopping this coming weekend in Amish country and I said we'd talk about it when I got home.

She was bored sitting home all weekend by herself......Oh well, might want to get used to that honey.

Got home yesterday and she was as nice as she could be. Talking and talking and talking. We had a nice night. She got real quiet as we were watching a show on t.v. and there was a comment made about "the conquences of your actions". That kind of ended her good mood.

What I discovered this weekend? I really don't NEED her. I would like our marriage to have a chance, but things have been all about HER for so long in our marriage, this A included, that I KNOW if she won't wake up and make a commitment to making this a marriage we BOTH want, then I'm not settling for less than I deserve.

And it feels GOOD. I laughed more this weekend than I have in over 2 years. Man, I needed that.

If she wants to join me, great, if not, I'm good.

We'll see how it goes.

Ok, Guess what's proudly displayed in W's office again?

Yep, that frickin glass.

So a week and a half ago, she knew I was coming to visit her office so she took it down. Now it's back up.

So what to do?

Funny thing is, she was more engaged with me when I stopped by than she has been in over a year. Actually asked me about ME!

So....do I confront her and tell her how disrespectful it is for her to continually rub that in my face or do I let it go for now and see if she continues to improve and then bring it up?

Hi Hope4us, so glad you had a great time.Laughter certainly is the best medicine. I am afraid I have a rather warped SOH so tend to laugh at the oddest things, mostly at myself these days when I have those ahem..senior moments. Good job I live alone and nobody sees and calls the men in white coats.

As for the ** glass, did I miss the significance of it? I guess om bought it? is it a drinking glass or a vase or what.
I would be for just letting it go but only you know how much it hurts you to see it.
You put up with alot more than many would so is this glass worth a show down.
A wise man picks his battles.
Take care.

Proving my previous point that -- like that great line in Cool Hand Luke says: "She knows exactly what she's doin'.

WHATEVER you decide to do, I hope it's at least not from a perspective of "perhaps she doesn't know how important that is to you."

Puppy

naej,

Yes, the glass is from OM. I've told her too many times to count just how disrespectful I find it that she has the glass.

It's a drinking glass OM got on a FAMILY vacation with his W and kids a couple years ago in the middle of the A.

I think your comment about a wise man picking his battles is a good one....for now....

And it does HURT. She knows how I feel about it and if it's truly "just a glass" like she says, she should have no problem getting rid of the thing knowing how I feel about it.

I've even said to her "put yourself in my shoes, if I'd have had an A and kept a gift that my OW gave me, would you be ok with it"? And she dropped her head and stared at the ground.

So, yes she knows, but apparently, my feelings aren't as important to her as a frickin glass from OM.

Is it a deal breaker? Yes, but not right this minute.....

Thanks for the comment.

Puppy.

I'm beginning to see that.

Question is, she's also making progress from what I can see.

I mean, she actually was asking about my day and what I had going on. I can't remember the last time she did that. I definitely feel like the mini-LRT I did while out of town had an affect on her.

I think I'll ignore it for now. Wait for the trip in 3.5 weeks where I KNOW we'll connect and if she flips again when we return to work, then the confrontation about the glass and all the other stuff.

Like I mentioned to naej, it's a deal breaker, but not right now.

I guess the idea is to let her figure it out on her own and do something about it herself, not at my bidding. But I ain't waitin forever. This weekend just proved to me that life is good and I can be pretty darn happy without her.

Yeah, you're probably right. I mean, you've come THIS far, why not play out the string?

H4U, have you ever thought that your wife has any NPD tendencies? I have, with the fetching Mrs. Puppy. Sure complicates things.

Puppy

NPD?