Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again First Piecing Thread

WDID. You're a lot more confident than I am about what's going on with her.

That's probably my biggest problem with the whole thing. I am kind of "if you want to do this, just say so" kind of person. If she does "love me", why not say so? Why not say, "I made a horrible mistake, I love you and I want to see if we can make this work".

But I don't get that. I haven't heard an "I love you" for probably 18 months, and I wonder how many I heard in the 8 months before that were real. She doesn't wear her rings. She hasn't said "I'm sorry".

All those things don't add up to her being where you think she is WDID, but I guess I'll take your word for it.

To be honest, H4U and WDID, I think you're BOTH reading things into her thoughts that I'm not sure are necessarily true, and that are probably biased by your own thoughts about what you WISH were true.

There's a word for it, but I can't remember what it is. It's not "ethnocentrism," but it's a companion of that. It means to ascribe good intentions to your opponent, based on your OWN beliefs, values and good intentions.

Puppy

Oh, I think I'm very guilt of that Pup. I ALWAYS look for the best in people, situations, etc.

Probably what has kept me around as long has I have.

I think right now, everything is comfortable for her. She in that valley with Mt Everest on one side and K2 on the other and there's no need to try to scale either one.

So here I am.

Oh, I'm sure I may read into things. We are all different people so she can't possibly feel/do the exact same things I did or felt. She COULD be just waiting it out, or she could be trying to work through it. As stubborn as she is, I would think if she wanted to leave she would leave. If she was staying begrudgingly she certainly wouldn't feel bad about the show on the tv, and she wouldn't be texting you or chit chatting with you. When I was home with my H, and not really wanting to be married, I certainly wasn't chatting it up with him. I ticked him off most of the time, and everything he did ticked me off as well.

But, yeah, I like to think positively and work toward making it better. And, it does seem like things are getting better.

If she is a sheep in wolves' clothing (or is it the other way around?) then it will eventually come out.

WDID, I love your heart. I'm just not sure some of these other wayward spouses have it.

I pray H4U's does.

Puppy

If Hope's wife only knew how hard I'm working for her, and how many prayers have been sent on her behalf.....

I know.

hope, you ok??

I'm fine, thanks for asking.

Just plugging along. W is having a bad week at work so that's added stress.

That's what I struggle with....Is W's mood changes durning the week a result of HATING her job, the triggers from OM (and that freakin glass....yes it's still there), contact with OM, EGF filling her head with chit.....or a combo of all of those things.

But things are pretty decent. Not near what they COULD be, but ok.

W did surprise me this afternoon. We have set my nephew, his W and kids up in our timeshare at Disney in a couple weeks. W asked what I thought about ordering a gift basket of some sorts to be in their room when they get there. I thought that was a great idea and it kind of shows me she's thinking aobut family, etc, which is a good thing.

That's about it.

That was thoughtful of her. I'm glad you're ok, and you're plugging along.