Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers The adventure continues--part 2

I figured you meant you were an aircraft controller, like in the tower...if you are, that is definitely a job where you cannot lose focus!

I feel anger a lot too in my situation but I try to stifle it. Running works well to get it out of your system for a while.

Thanks guys for your input! I don't control RC aircraft. Yesterday I controlled F-18s. While I think being angry is better than being a crying, weeping mess, I didn't like the way I was feeling last night because of it. I was sooo tired and had to go to bed early. It's been 2 months now and it is still difficult to comprehend what has happened and I still occasionally am asking myself why it happened.

To be perfectly honest, while I miss my wife, her company, her humor, how sweet she could be, etc, I think my mind has been clouded and I've been glossing over the negative aspects of our relationship. She was/is controlling, quickly prone to anger(especially when she didn't get her way and sometimes I couldn't even figure out why she was angry), uncommunicative, frivolous w/ money, a gossip, and just damn mean at times. But yet, I still miss her--she had plenty of good qualities as well.

So, having said all this, do I really want her back, assuming she wanted to come back? Not without some real changes and open lines of communication. I honestly think it's a pipe dream at this point. Why I am blogging all this? I think if will be easier for me to refer back to this when I'm not having moments of clarity over the next few months. Am I scared and uncertain as to what the future holds? You bet. I'm trying very hard not to focus too far into the future though and trying to take it one day at a time.

AF--

You work with F-18s? cool! My DH is an AT and repairs the radar equipment on the 18s on the ship. He is not flight line, but instead works in a shop. Of course, now that he has made chief, I do not know if he is getting to do as much hands on as he used to in the past.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

F-18s, F-15s, F-22s, F-4s, F-16s also.

AF: It is very interesting to look back at the evolution of your attitude toward your sitch. You really have come a long way! I think that your current attitude of "I would like to be with her, if she would change, but I could take or leave it" is the most mature and evolved that you have had! THAT is wisdom: hard-fought and dearly bought.

BTW, I used to work back-shop for EC-130s myself. Was a heckuva job.
Off we go, into the wild blue yonder...

P.D. -- that's true; I hadn't thought of that. Good point!

Puppy

220, 221 . . . whatever it takes.

LMBO!! I love Mr. Mom!!

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

"Wanna beer?"

"Um, it's 6:45 in the morning."

(pause)

"Scotch?"

PD, thanks very much. It may have sounded mature but it doesn't feel so. My new motto is fake it till you make it, so I'm trying to inject logic and whatnot into my nogin so that I can better cope and evolve and move forward in my sitch. It's probably the only way I can stay sane at this point. Otherwise, I find myself obsessing as much as ever. It is a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day struggle. So, once again, I say to you: FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!