Brilliant ! Good for you.. you are getting there.. keep trying and then you will be swimming and it will be second nature! I'm glad that Jody concurrd.. absolutely.. you are giving her her power.. and what do you think she will do if you continue to IGNORE her whngey, whiney, nasty, blamey, hateful emails?? (unless its business that needs answering like you say, like the CC).. yep.. she will call instead. Better to talk or meet, or do meidation.. no more dancing to her tune my friend.
Seriously.. all this anger is sad for her, it will eat her up, its bad if you believe in the chinese medicine theory that stuff like anger can eat up the body and cause health issues.. hanging onto stuff the way she does, will not be good for her!!!
But.. rise above it. Be strong !! No more monkey/organ grinder stuff!
We are all here for you to keep yoi on track
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I can't access FB from work, so the link didn't go either. Anyway, I'm on Spring Break now, so I'll be able to look at it and comment in the next few days.
Yes, Ali, I'm just a DAM deep-down, so it takes a while for things to register w/me. The more you live the more things make sense.
In any event, she'll get nothing that isn't w/out a direct question (my friend Carlos is doing that w/great success in his sitch. By the way, where are you Carlos?).
I'm also going to need to not personalize her BS moves like the one she did last night. I called and left a message for D at 6:40 and then D called me at 9 pm. When I asked D why she was up so late, she said "You didn't call me, Daddy."
Broke my heart, but I can't control XW nor try to talk sense into her. All I can do is what I did, tell D I did call and say I'm sorry she never got the message. I also told D to remember that I ALWAYS call for her, so she can ask Mommy for my message every night.
XW's anger will hurt her in the end. For now, I have to continue to be my own man and be patient.
As Tom Petty once said, "The waiting is the hardest part."
Are you being patient that she will change the way she behaves or just being patient with yourself? You will get to a calm place soon.
It is sad about the messages and your daughter. Can you call her at a specific time each day so she knows you will call her then and if she hasn't talked to you she can go to her Mom and ask?
I fb-mailed the question to you so it isn't on my board. Just when you can, I will appreciate it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
This woman likes to push your buttons doesn't she? So the less you show a reaction, the less "fun" that will be for her. Sometimes I feel like I have answered ex's e-mail question and then he keeps hounding me. I opened a file on my e-mail that I send his e-mails to so that I don't have to keep looking at them but address them if and when it is necessary.
keep hanging in there.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I cant imagine how she will react when you find someone you like and have a relationship... I dont care if her anger will harm her. It SHOULD damn it!! Take care of you, be smart about it and STOP anticipating NORMAL behavior from her. She isnt capable of being human. xxx K
I've been spending too much time and energy trying to "help" her change her attitude about me. Again, as I've said before, I'm a DAM at heart, so it takes a while to sink in.
She's so bizarre it is baffling. She sends an e-mail today saying "I put an envelope for you in D's backpack. I hope you can find it useful."
So, I'm thinking it is probably some article on "how to be a good parent" or something where she could try and tell me what to do or point out what I'm not doing well.
What was in the envelope? Coupons for me to use to help save me money. Coupons for golfing, eating out, etc. She sent me coupons.
She goes from telling me how awful of a parent/human I am to being concerned w/my budget. Strange.
Oh, well. As long as I can remember it is coming, I should be fine and act in the right way. Like you said, prepare for the emergency situation, then hope it never shows up.
