Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Question: Friendships w/opposite sex, are ok?

Only if you have third-party evidence, and your own gut, that tells you that she DIDN'T.

Is that really the case???

Well, I don't have any 3rd party evidence. My gut is confused. Times that I've been sure I was right about something have turned out to be dead wrong. I guess if I really ask myself then my gut says no, she didn't have a PA. An EA, yes. At least on her part.

Also, if she didn't want me she wouldn't have come back, right? I mean, she had already signed the paperwork and put money down on her own place. Everything was a go, so why would she just come back to keep up some clandestine affair? It just doesn't make sense. At the root of this, am I not trusting God? He answered my prayers, and He wouldn't do that just to turn around and allow this to happen, so why can't I just let go and let God?

WP - I don't know your sitch, but I think I gathered that she had a crush on this person, revealed her feelings to him, he did not feel the same, but they still want to maintain a friendship outside of work???

If that is the case, then she is delusional and will be trying very hard to get him to like her during their "friendship" outings.

DQ

You're surprised that a woman would want TWO plates spinning on her sticks, rather than just ONE?

Why? For security. For validation. Out of fear. And yes, I'm absolutely convinced she DOES love you.

I do not personally think there is a current clandestine affair. But I do think she has inappropriate feelings for this man, and it would be highly inappropriate at ANY time for them to meet alone as friends, much less during such a precarious time in your reconciliation and healing process.

If you don't enforce your own boundaries, don't blame God. You prayed for your wife back, which you got. The rest is up to you.

Puppy

I have always had friends of the opposite sex, but never men that I would hang out with alone. I think that having a wide variety of people around you is healthy, but again, within reason. And I dont think that its appropriate for someone who had been unfaithful to be nurturing a friendship that makes you uncomfortable.

If this is something that you need from her in your reconciliation... I guess I'm disappointed that shes not willing to be more sympathetic and give it to you. It seems like if she wants your R to work, she should be willing to let this man go...