Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My story

MB - Time is a BIG theme on this site. Rome wasn't built in a day. Your marriage wasn't destroyed in a day. If you ask the WAW/WAS it was over after the first year. Blah! They will tell themselves anything they need to to justify their actions. DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY AND ONLY 50% OF WHAT THEY DO. Another big message on this board. You need to give up CONTROL. If I asked her about u as a friend she would probably say that you were controlling. Most of the WAW/WAS's would say that. Don't prove her right by pressuring her about the marriage. It's true this is a marathon. Some members on this board have been on her for years NOT months. Use this time to work on you. Become the person YOU always wanted to be NOT HER. Do it for your kids. Use this time to figure out what YOU WANT/NEED. Hopefully, you will still want your wife if this goes on for another year or so, but who knows. Times like these really show what a person is made out of that you can't see until the pressure is on. I unfortunately found out what my ex was made out of. But, yours might be able to dig deep and learn to forgive if you. DO the WORK that everyone on here is explaining to you. It's YOUR CHOICE. Just do it! WORK on YOU and HOPE and PRAY that she chooses to WORK on HER. It's the ONLY way it will EVER WORK. And remember her choosing to come back is on HER TIMELINE NOT YOURS. PATIENCE! PATIENCE! PATIENCE!

Good Luck. B

As a newbie too, MB, I feel your pain re: patience, but PMA Baby is right on. We have to back off, work on ourselves and hope/pray. The rest is really out of our control!!

MB,

Don't give up. You will thank yourself in the end no matter how it turns out. If you can bike in a race, it is no different. You can't win if you don't try. And if someone else wins (e.g. your wife's decision to separate/divorce), you will know you really gave it your all.

I cried readin your story. Actually I just cry pretty much all the time now at a drop of a hat but I am sorry we are both here together.

Keep writing to me if you can.

GDH

Thanks Burt. That is great wisdom and keep the changes going. I think once you've accepted where you went wrong, the changing part becomes easier

I do think I a suffocating my H who wants to leave. With affection which he never got before. He said he felt deserted b me, i make him want to puke and so many other mean things. I take these things and just listen as I know he hurts. It is painful but I'm a tough old gal (not really). I just cry when the kids are at school, he is at work, and I'm at home.

I don't have time to write much more today. Gotta get to the office.

GDH