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Sending you and K all of my prayers, good wishes and positive thoughts!!!!

Hi blindy

I will say prayers for you and K.


T

Been thinking of you alot today!

Finally I have a moment to post...

I could swear today is Friday the 13th. But, alas, it is not. It's just ONE of THOSE days.

Court didn't go the way I planned, but it could have been worse. The same judge we have had everytime that was soooo on my side all those times before...today, was not. Not so much. H didn't get 50/50 - thank the Lord on that one. However, the judge did give him every other weekend starting now. She's 9 months old. He doesn't have a job. There are two boys and a newborn living with him. He will be responsible for 4 children, 2 of them being infants...by himself once OW goes back to work in a couple weeks. WTF???? The judge even asked my H "Do you have any experience with infants?" My H's response "here and there in High School babysitting." Again, WTF was he thinking. I pointed out that I thought it would be in K's best interest to wait until she was 18 months. This would give him some time to get used to his newborn and K would be a little older. Nope. Didn't matter. The judge said "People multitask all the time." Ummm, haven't you met my H? He can't even take care of himself, much less 2 infants and two older boys. She doesn't even have her own room. Her crib is in the boys' room. I was upset. But, I held it in until after the hearing. H knew how upset I was. He acknowledged it. I told him that I didn't think he was a neglectful father. Just that I thought we should take it slower and let him have time with his son and see how that went before he took on the responsibility of our daughter, too. I can't believe that she is going to be away from me overnight, so soon. Every other weekend was what I agreed to...WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE OLDER....hello???? But, now I will have to be away from her for a whole weekend.

Oh, and the judge ordered him to pay the debt. Which is a definite plus.

But, I go to pick up my daughter from daycare and she has pink eye....great. I text my H to tell him that I am taking her to urgent care and would he be available to watch her tomorrow if I can't take her to school. He doesn't respond. So, about an hour later, I text him "nevermind. I'll take care of it." Yes, it was a guilt trip. Whatever. So, he calls me about 5 minutes ago. I let it go to voicemail. No message left. Jerk. Now he has his judgement for every other weekend. So, what? How long, I wonder, will every other weekend last. Everyone feels the same. He won't be able to handle it. But, I worry that even if he feels overwhelmed he won't let me take her back because he doesn't want me to think he can't handle it. Way to think about K's best interest, eh?

Like I told you yesterday, I am in shock a judge would do that to an infant. She is too young to be away from her primary caregiver for that long! OMG. Every document I have read says long day visits are one thing but overnight? I feel so bad for K.....and you.

I know anti db'ing but your H is such a loser.

I'm so sorry B. If your H was a responsible person, that would be one thing, but he has proven otherwise. I am sure he won't do anything to purposely put her in harms way, but I can't say he won't be observant of everything that is happening, and judge properly. We will all be praying of K, and asking the Lord to protect her in his hands. The Lord will watch over her.

Have you asked your H specifically "Is this what you truly want?" Are you totally opposed to seeing how comfortable you feel watching the 3 kids while OW is working first, so you can be better prepared for K?"

IDK. I'm thinking that even though the courts have said this, you H can still make a decision to wait too right? if he agreed to.

I'm really sorry. like you said, it could be way worse, and I've heard of way worse stories. So don't let this bring you down, you just give K the best of the best when you have her. I know you will.

((((B)))

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter. I'll post later.

I'm back. I'll try to catch everyone up....so the judge ordered 80/20 custody to my H. He has K every other weekend. This past weekend was our normal visitation, next Friday will be her first overnight with him. I told him that we need to sit down and talk about some rules so that we are all comfortable and on the same page. And, also talk about holiday's and stuff before I draw up the order.He agreed. He's supposed to come by this week so we can do this. But, he has to check the schedule first to see if he has to do something with "the boys". Glad to see how K is a priority. So, he drops her off last night. He had her for Easter at OW's parent's house. I hate it because those people are NOT her family. She has a huge family that missed her desperately. But, we did have our time in the morning for a little while. He drops her off & the car seat is front facing. I have asked him half a dozen times to turn it rear facing until she is 22lbs & 1 year. He will not do it. I finally asked him why and he said that she likes it that way. I told him that I would rather her be safe and to turn it rear facing or I would call the police and have them ticket him. Isn't her safety supposed to be important here? Not being in control. But, he has huge control issues. I asked him where K was sleeping. He told me her crib was in "the boys'" room. I was livid. I told him she was not to sleep with two strange boys. He asked if I was worried they would molest her. WTF???? #1-it is totally inappropriate #2-they are not her family #3- she should have her own space. Why does he think that is appropriate? Then I told him I didn't want OW to discipline her. That if there was a problem, OW could go to H and he could deal with it. I'll F her up if she lays a hand on my D. Then I told him that there is to be no physical discipline. He said "It'll depend on what she does." What????? She's 9 months old. Is he a moron??? I am soooo unhappy about this situation. I cry everyday that she is going to be there. Without me!!! She has always been with me, never without me at night. What happens when she wakes up in the middle of the night and I'm not there? I know that it is an adjustment. But, I hate that this is happening to US because HE decided to leave his W and family and start another one somewhere else. She is a baby why are they allowing this at such an early age? I'm totally unhappy. I asked him if he would consider doing 1 weekend night per week for the first two months. He said he'd think about it. That would be the best way for all of us to adjust and get comfortable and make sure it's working out okay. When OW goes back to work on the 1st, he will be alone with two infants. The man can't take care of himself. How is he going to manage two infants on his own. OW won't be there. She works graveyard shift Fri-Mon.

Im so sorry. What a mess. That is my biggest fear.

I don't have long right now but I am going to email you a link about having her facing forward already. Its completely dangerous. They are now saying to leave them rear facing until 2 years or 35 lbs. Show your H this link...

Take care. I will talk to you soon.