Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy he is back, i think

so last night, rather late, i started getting prank calls, i know for sure it was the ow. i answered the first one, said hello, no one said anything but i heard someone there. i figured it out and hung up. then she proceeded to call 2 or 3 more times. we did not answer. next time she calls, i should say into the phone, "H, maybe you want to take this call", just so she gets that he is home with me.

i wonder if she will call again tonight. i hate it.

even though i did not talk to her, just the idea of her calling left me shaking and i couldnt stop, kinda like the chills. kinda weird. i think her calling makes it all more real, if that makes sense.

If your H knows she is calling, it is messing with his head as well. My OM did this same thing, and still does off and on. They are holding onto what they had and want to make sure that we know that they are still in love with us and miss us. Makes it hard to move toward the marriage with that going on, and they know it.

Two words:

RESTRAINING ORDER.

Also, change your phone #s -- cell, too.

Puppy

If the phone pranks happen again tonight, let your H answer it. I'm sure that's what she is after, to find out if he is there. Also, this would be assurance to you that he has broken it off with her. If he agrees to answer the phone it lets you know that he isn't trying to hide the fact from her that he is at home working on his M.

I know how difficult this is. I put up with so much from my H. I was so afraid of "running" him off and never set the boundaries I should have. I always tried to be so accomodating to him and it has not gotten me anywhere as far as reconciliation. Yes, we have a civil relationship, but I don't want to be his friend, I want to be his wife.

He needs to be more transparent to you and show you he is trying to work it out. My H made so many false starts back towards our marriage only to withdraw again. I wish I had a solution for you, but I don't. I only can speak from experience of what didn't work. I'm sure there are others who can give you the advice you need, I just wanted to offer you support.

thank you everyone for your advice.

if i had to guess, h absolutely did not tell her he was coming back to me. i know he spent too much time and energy convincing her we are getting divorced. perhaps she is just catching on to the lies and calling.

in fact, i had told him to not tell him he was leaving her for me. she is slightly pyscho, based on the crazy calls i have received from her and i really did not want to deal with her (i grew up in the same town as Amy Fisher, if you know what i mean).

i was just with H at our new store, i surprised him and brought him a bagel and coffee and he was happy to see me. i helped out and took it upon myself to clean things and organize.

i hope the store will be good for us, its something we are doing together and it will allow us to interact during the day and learn to know eachother again in a new environment.

i received several calls late yesterday afternoon from the ow. im not so sure as to why she likes to call repetitively without coming up for air. by the 15th call (all within a matter of 13 minutes) i answered my cell phone, without listening for her, i simply said, "please do not call here". and i hung up.

and for some odd reason, she stopped. im shocked she felt threatened by me. im sure she will call today.

i have her blocked on my cell but if she blocks her number, it gets through. im not interested in changing my number as of yet, i will see how things transpire.

i can block private calls at home, i recently took the block off just to see if she was trying to call. i wanted H to see how nutso she is when she calls repeatedly without stopping for minutes at a time.

if she calls today, i will answer and say, "H is home now with me, please leave us alone" and i will hang up.

Your husband needs to send her a no-contact letter, and you guys need to change your home phone and your cellphones. If she "finds" you again, you should get a restraining order.

You don't need the drama -- you need to be working at your marriage, unencumbered and unbothered.

Puppy

update-

H home and we are busy with the store.

ow texted me today that she wants to talk to me, not fight with me. i did not answer. then she tried calling from another number. i did not answer.

i have nothing to say to her. i spoke to her with respect (even when i really didnt want to), in october and told her the truth. it seems she was unaware for a while that she was dating a married man.

but i laid it all out for me then, and she continued to see my husband and taunt me with it.

so now, honestly, let her heart break, as mine has over these last few years, i have nothing to say to her. nothing good could come out of it for me at this point.

i hope she meets someone her age, someone single and she moves on.

I wouldnt talk to her. What good could it possibly do? Is there anything positive that would come from it? I just cant imagine that it would help anything. I agree, you have nothing to say to her!

Unfortunately, thats one of the dangers of seeing a married man!

Cry me a freaking river!

I hope that this has taught her a lesson and the next time that a married man tries to tell her how pretty she is, she tells him to go home!

its unbelievable isnt it? something tells me she totally believed and still does, every lie he every told...

i have nothing to say to her, u are right, nothing good would come from it.

she is not my friend, she is not part of my marriage, she is nothing to me. i owe her nothing.