Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Accelerated divorce due to OM...normal?

Just capture the screenshot, and file it away.

Puppy

Already done, going to see the lawyer this afternoon. Also found an overpayment of $1000 on an old fuel card I set up for my business years ago. We stopped uding the account 2 years ago, but never closed it. The print out is going to the lawyer as well. I'm going to ask him not to do anyhting on the file until May. As I'm facing a layoff, the affair, the divorce, general job stress, and the kids are being really rebellious these last few weeks. I just need a few weeks to process and decide what to do for me! Other than weekly riding lessons and emergencies, I'm going dark.

Overpayment???

The account was paid off a long time ago, but never closed. Now all of a sudden in February there was a $1000 cash payment. I don't know what she's doing since you have to provide bank statements etc to your lawyer. First thing I would have noticed anyway was the absence of fuel purchases. She drives over 60 miles a day in a ford explorer.

But I'm not understanding why she'd be hiding a PAYMENT. A CHARGE, maybe, not not a payment.

???

I'm guessing her father or someone told her to overpay and leave the accounts in the overdraft so that it looks like she's worse off than she is. She has asked for spousal support, even though she is a manager with over 50 employees under her, with a hefty salary. Most likely because with the 1 week on 1 week off custody, she will get very little child support "I can't live my life without it!" I thought it was to help our children not her life. My lawyer has asked for copies of all Credit cards and bank account statements that we know of, but I suspect there is at least one more bank account. There were some cheques from her to her in Oct for $1000 that were cashed but there are no deposits anywhere.

I admit I needed my eyes opened, but why does it seem to happen all at once?

Sweet-1, my H wanted out so bad he threatened to get a lawyer to force me to sign his papers. When I told him that I wasnt sure what to do with our pets, he actually suggested euthanasia! Replaced by aliens for sure. I told him I wouldnt as long as he was involved with the OW. Not that it did me a whole lot of good, but I did wait the affair out. Now its over, but he still doesnt want to come home. So yes, I think that accelerated divorce is absolutely normal in these situations... Hold your ground! Dont sign anything until you are ready to, its the both of your marriage, you BOTH decide when its over.

It seems like as long as you save all of the bank information her hiding assets should be fairly easy to prove. I wish you luck with the custody.

All at once is absolutely how it happens, maybe its to prove to you that you are stronger and more resilient than you ever could have known without such a trial.

Met with my lawyer yesterday. Bluerain, I hope I'm strong enough to weather what's gonna come. It feels so strange to have to prioritize love, and to know that to help the kids, I may have to hurt my wife (financially). My lawyer is drafting a motion to have the 1 week/1 week custody continue for a period of 48 months, which will pretty much guarantee me primary residence as she has left the house twice now. I have affidavits from a Dr(child specialist), and a social worker about my parenting skills.

I am friends with her boss, and twice he has called me (out of concern for her) to discuss her lying and absenteeism etc, as well as to inform me that he has rolled her bonuses back into her wages. She got a SIN for our son 2 years ago, and payed her bonuses to him, (makes me wonder how many more bank accounts are out there), anyway her boss reversed this and put them back on her income. So her lawyer sends a letter to my lawyer stating that my discussing W with her boss is jeopardising her career and I need "to cease and decist immediately". I actually told him I'd appreciate if he cut her some slack (he says he'll back that up).

I've asked him not to do anything other than the custody issue until middel of May as I haven't been sleeping well, and having anxiety attacks in the middle of the night (possible loss of job, custody, divorce etc). He wants to serve my statement of defense sooner than that, but I reminded him that I am the client, and he is to advise not order ( I can be real Prick when cornered). Plus that will give me 6 weeks to DB.

One thing that amazes me is how much of the negative crap you find out about your own friends and family in terms of opinions etc. I'm sitting here fighting to put my marriage back together etc and people still have the nerve to tell me to just give up or walk away. If that's support, please don't help me anymore!

BTW Bluerain, I love your final quote, can I copy it to my FB profile page?

Sure, you can copy it.

Its really tough to find people to talk to when you really need support, thats why this is such a good place to come, my MC told me that I needed to get used to the idea that he was leaving... Does that sound like marriage counseling? It sounds to me like divorce counseling! I stopped talking to my friends about it, one of them actually told me she thought I was weak, in fact, I think that we, who are fighting for our marriages, willing to forgive such an insult, are incredibly strong! So, I would tell you not to talk to anyone who is only going to be negative about it.