I am committed to working on building a future with you as friends. That's as much as I can promise without being dishonest. If something more were to develop down the road, then I would not close the door on it. (It doesn't have to be marriage. I have had my fill of that institution.) But right now I don't see that happening and certainly not without separation.
What does she mean by this? Who knows? I bet your W is confused by her own comments. But you have a green light to become friends, that's part of the reconciliation path so why not explore it? The hard part about this is mixing logic and emotion, letting go of beliefs and allowing some free-falling to happen. We don't have near the control we think we have,so the focus is back on yourself.
Quote:
One encounters an awful lot of tea-leaf reading in posts around here, with lots of inferences drawn about "what" s/he is thinking about, or what the mind-frame of this or that poster is, and there's a risk -- as evidenced here -- of over-drawing inferences based on a limited amount of text and an absolutely one-sided recounting of events.
That makes a lot of sense. We only hear one side of the story. We don't know any of the spouses being discussed. Mind reading and feeling for others is a waste of time and energy. We can only address the poster. One of the stengths of the board is unfiltered and various perspectives. Wisdom and discernment of what will work in your situation is your responsibility. Working thru this is like being Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day, everyday seems the same but we learn and apply what we learn to grow and become a better person. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
SP - I've been following along your sitch for some time, and don't think I've ever posted to you until now. You seem like one cool DUDE!
First of all, I have NO words of wisdom, as I'm not an exemplary DB'er, but "I attempt to play one in RL!"
What I do offer, after reading your "list" is the following:
-- I played D1 tennis, gave it up for years, took it up again after my S9 was born (to lose the weight). I don't know your level of intensity, but I ended up with a torn bicep, and a NICE surgery that took 18 months to recover from! So, be careful, if you're ANYTHING like me, and go wrecklessly into everything with a vengence! I don't know how old you are, but I was 33, and I guess we're just not made to act that way as we "age" a little!
-- Love the shopping! Way to go!
-- I have a dream to write a book. I have no topic! Another, way to go!
-- Most importantly, researching CANCER TREATMENTS... I work in the drug discovery/pharmaceutical industry, automating research labs (AT such places as Memorial-Sloan Kettering, Duke, Mayo, etc...). I know the heads of many of these labs that get THE cash for bleeding/leading edge technologies. I've helped a lot of friends. Not sure how, but if I can offer any insight, please don't hesitate to ask.
Keep your chin up!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
1. Tennis. I'm 46. This is old-guy tennis I'm talking about. Run around a bit, wheeze, hit the ball and hope it dribbles over the net.
2. Cancer treatment. Thanks for the tip. My "old" thread had to be taken down due to exposure, but you might say that I have an M.D. cover for my Double-Nought Spy life....
I'm agnostic on those posts to be honest. After 15 months in a hot, sandy, desert place formerly ruled by a tall fellow with a bushy black mustache where NOTHING was as it seemed, I'm uncomfortable -- emotionally, psychologically, intellectually -- with absolutes.
