Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy trying to be patient and strong 13

So how did it go?

kat

New phone? On our phone plan, because its in H name alone, I can't do ANYTHING without his approval...sucks!

I am learning from you guys!

I am also on my H's cell plan and would be in the same situation if I lost my phone. I will have to take myself off of his plan and put on my own.

Did you use your pink top and charm?

I went today to the mall where they used to have the store, and it's closed up!!! I can't believe H didn't tell me that. I don't understand him. He pays the bill in the store, so I'm sure he knows where the location is. I guess I'm going to go to their website and see if I can find the local office and maybe give it one more try. If I have any #s, I'm thinking about just doing my own cell plan. It would be an extra $50 a month though if I do my own plan (they're all about $50 a month aren't they?)

Karen

You could always get a pay as you go phone. It may end up being cheaper. Check out your options. And you don't have to stay with AT&T just because you used to have it.

kat

Hi Karen

I just read on another post about how you think that possibly your h is not as infactuated with OW and refocussing a bit on the kids. That is great news I hope it improves everyday.

I do have a question for you - In the early days were you shocked that your H turned to another W. Wa sit entirely out o character ?

Yeah, I can't explain it, but one thing I've noticed is he's looking at me now. He never looked at my face for about 18 months. He seems more normal (he was always either distant or angry) now. Friendlier on the emails, I'm hoping he's defogging but you never know.

It was and wasn't out of character. He was always a churgoing, Sunday School teacher. He still takes the kids to church every other week which is kind of weird. Even during all the A he kept attending church, but he would just kind of read the Bible instead of listening to the sermon (b/c a lot of the sermons wouldn't agree with what he was doing I think).

But H was always a little self-absorbed which of course got worse the past couple years. He's always been sure to have plenty of me time for himself, doing triathlon training, running, biking or whatever hobby he was into at the time. He also is a sober alcoholic, hasn't drank in about 20 years now, but he has a very addictive personality: he would go through different obsessions: billiards, triathlons, kayaking etc. They would last 1 to 2 years and then he'd be on to the next one. I do think OW is the latest addiction for him. She's been married 3 times already and cheated on her 3rd with my H, has troubled kids, etc.

But really would you want him back if he came back to reality? How did the phone work out? Get your own plan if you can then you won't have to worry about H.

hugs, kat

I don't know that b/c he's defogging if he is, that would mean anything for our M. Maybe he is having problems with OW or just emerging from MLC a bit, but I don't think that would mean anything. He's burned too many bridges and prob. realizes that. But I still think it would be good if he got more normal and less foggy, for me and the kids.

I thought I would go to the store and try once to get a replacement as that would be cheapest (H is paying for that plan and it's only an extra $10 for me to be on it). If they give me a big hassle or something, then I will just get my own plan. I'm thinking maybe I'll call first too, b/c it's an over hour drive from here! Karen

Karen,

Glad to hear he is coming out of the fog a bit, for your sake and the kids.
I was able to get my D a replacement phone,(she is on H plan) we just couldn't get the discount that my H is qualified for without his approval. We didn't bother asking for his approval.

Good luck!