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Good, because I think you've got a good chance to save your M. You just need to let her build up the courage to come clean. That might not happen for a long while and that's why you need to create a safe place between the two of you so that she feels comfortable when she decides to confess what's bothering her.

Keep up the PMA and keep your interactions light hearted; let her dictate the convos that involve her undesirable behaviors.

Ditto what MC said.

And she does still love you or at least have some feelings otherwise she would have already done the stuff to file the divorce AND she wouldn't be feeling guilty.

Melissa

MC and Mel,
Ok, I'm back in my holding pattern. I've got to quit reacting so poorly intially to the news I get. And I hope you're right--that I can save my marriage and especially that my wife still loves me. We'll see.

Pretty funny(ironic that is). My wife mentioned on her way out last night that my SS19 hasn't called her or his dad at all and that the only one he seems to be communicating with is me. I didn't say anything to this but I was thinking plenty. She said I was cruel to him? I guess he doesn't feel that way. I wonder what she thinks about that?

I would be totally honest with her about what he thinks. "The kid is confused about why you left." "The kid disagrees with your decision." "The kid doesn't ...blah blah blah" whatever. There is opportunity for a truth dart there if Puppy will offer one up. He is so dang good at them. But make sure the kid feels that way before you say it. Maybe even talk to him about what she said. It will give you more ammo in knowing what to say next time she mentions it (and she will, I think.)

M

yeah, I may ask him. We'll see. Amazing, no contact today at all!! And I feel better because of it? Means 1 of 2 things in my book. Either she feels really guilty about yesterday or she just doesn't care. She didn't even call to talk to my daughter today. Her grade for being a mom and wife today is F! I guess I feel better about it cause there is no way for her to yank my chain if she doesn't talk to me. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day.

Wow, on the way to work and I saw her pulling out of her apartment. Next thing you know I get a phone call from her. Hey is that you? Yep. I was really short and didn't mean to be. Sigh. So I called her back to apologize for being short--I don't want to be rude. She said she didn't care. She asked about my daughter and then hung up. Sigh. I dont' know what to think anymore. I actually slept ok last night--I think it has something to do with no drama? She was so happy and bubbly when she called initially. That's the part I don't get. How can someone be that way after doing what she's done? It's like she has no conscience--I don't get it. Whatever, we'll see how this weekend goes.

Hmmmm; sounds like she's DBing you.

Puppy

I would think the same thing however, I think she's trying to normalize the sitch still.

Puppy, I was going to say the same thing!

But I will add this; she's got good PMA when she talks to him and she appears to be acting "as if" this will work out.

Take notice of how she does that, AFWAW; but forget about why she can. I would act the same way on the telephone. Act "as if" you are fine and are moving forward.