Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Divorce looming #6

I am trying to stick with a plan here. I was getting really stressed on the programming languages because I was struggling with them. I had decided I would learn them and/or sql server. I switched over to sql server and I am following it much better. Even when I got stuck twice, I was able to research the answers online and not give up.

My past is with access databases, so it makes sense that I am following sql better. I'm gonna study the heck out of it since it just seems to be more up my ally.

I am trying to make a change here and follow through with plans. I was starting to worry because I wasn't picking up the programming. Maybe I just need to get sql down first and go back to the programming when I am more comfortable with it.

What I am saying is some of that worrying led me to thinking what if I can't succeed. And I started stupid worries about what if W doesn't come back either.

But I am feeling much better and yall REALLY got through to me. I'm staying the course and will only return if I get offered a job. I won't go back without a job. I know that would not look good and would just be another flakey appearance on my part.

Thanks for sticking with me yall. I know I have been way to wishy washy in my decisions. I am going to do my best to stick with what is best for me and my kids.

The nice thing about sql is I can just totally focus on it since I am really following it. I was having trouble focusing on the programming languages and then would start to think about W. That isn't happening with SQL. What also makes it easier is it is more visual and I learn better with visual.

Kevin

Ah, its Friday. I was up til 3am. My D11 called this morning and it barely registered with me. So I am going to call her back after school.

Kevin

This is definitely tough studying. But somehow I am managing through. Its going slower than I anticipated. But thats ok. I have time to learn it. Just wish I could learn if faster so I could get back to Dallas sooner.

Kevin

I spoke to my kids on webcam tonite. W was in the room when I was talking to them. They are watching a dvd movie tonite and then going to a movie tomorrow. Springbreak is next week for them so they are glad to be out of school for a week.

My W got a phone call from her sister while sitting in the room with them. Said she has to make up sometime for work tonite because she took a 2 hour lunch with a friend. Dawned on me that Fridays are when her and OM would take lunch together and then she would give him a little gift in his vehicle. I guess the A is still on.

I had a hard time today emotionally wishing we were ok again. There are things I think of during the day that I want to tell my W but never do. She looked stunningly pretty tonite, hair and everything done up.

Jobs are getting hard to find. Maybe thats good that I have time to study right now.

Kevin

Well when you're on the webcam, how do you look? Why don't you dress up like you're on your way out. Or even if you're not, show her that you don't have a care in the world.

Show her happy! It's tough, but you gotta hang tough.

Stick with it buddy.

Thats a good idea Stuck808,

I hadn't thought of that. I'll give that a try maybe tomorrow night.

Kevin

Woohoo,

Its Saturday morning. D11 called me now that she finally found her cell phone. She just wanted to say hi. That made my morning.

Kevin

Kev

if you keep changing directions, you are going to go nowhere. Stay the course. Hope you are being productive and studying, or exercising or something useful to help you with GAL...

good luck
(( j ))

25,

I am. I am following your advice. Today I got out and went to see some older friends of mine and my dad. Also did a little grocery shopping.

I talked to my girls some on the phone.

You were right about one thing. I was so concerned about money and losing my W and everything falling apart I ended up letting it cloud my judgement.

I am trying to be of a more stable mind now and figure out the best path for me and my kids.

Thanks for checking back in on me.

Kevin

I went to church this morning. I attended the married adults class. I am going to a Men's bible study starting Tuesday that is each Tuesday. Looks like they have services on Sunday night as well and Wednesday nights. So I will be going to those to.

Kevin