Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I think I'm done...

I say don't answer everytime he calls. if you have the kids then you know everything is ok with them. Don't be available all the time. It makes them wonder. Let him leave a message and you can call him at your convenience.

That would be better. I actually hope that he doesn't self destruct. I want the kids to have two healthy parents. He does not usually ask to talk to the kids when he calls.

Okay, I did a little backslide mistakeepoo and sent him a TM after we talked. It made me mad that he called and pretended to small talk just to ask about the taxes. He knows I am honest and will let him know when the money comes.

I sent him a message that said I know you just called to find out about the taxes. Don't worry, I will let you know when the money comes in. I will not try to take your half.

******oops, Bi*chy a little bit?

He sent back, That is just wrong I know you wouldn't do that I just need the money and I wanted to find out about the kids.

So I sucked it up and sent back - sorry if I insulted you- I was wrong
Him: You know I want to see the kids more
Me: That is up to you. You know you can come visit them any time and I feel that I have been plenty friendly to you.
The End!
Oh, well. I'll start climbing up from the backslide again.

Driving right now but will respond later.

It's tough, you have to let a lot of things slide without saying anything. Hopefully he makes the effort to see the kids.

Another tough one is to only show him positivity. You don't have to act like everything is just great, but you can still be upbeat. It is hard to find a balance with that, give it time.

Not that big of a mistake, you said your sorry. Try not to dwell on it and keep moving forward.

Yeah, I'm not really trying to save anything anymore, so sometimes it's just hard to be nice!! I know, show positive! I have been so good at that! Oh well, take it from here. Kind of reminds me about your convo w/your W about softball. Funny how sometimes things just get to you that you really shouldn't let yourself get mad about. I guess we are all human, and it's going to happen. I have the anger about him not seeing the kids and I just have to let that go.

Exactly,

I still struggle with finding a balance as well. This has been a difficult one for me. I tend to want to force a little too much reality on her at times.

I get frustrated too. I don't see a whole lot of positives anymore. I'm getting better though. It's out of my hands, what ever happens life doesn't stop and we chose whether it's good or not.

Okay, I'm back! My d fell asleep so I took the oportunity to go soak in a hot bath and read for a while. I feel back to the positive now. : ) Not much of an attempt to GAL, but hey, we have to take what we can get. Maybe someday we'll be party animals like T2.


Did you get your nap, Trapt?

It's so funny how one interaction with someone can lean your mood either one way or the other. I'm really good at letting the positive rub off on me, but I have to get better at letting the negative roll off from the J*ck A**. I feel soooo much better when I go for a few days without talking to him. Tells you something, huh?

Hey S, no worries about the backslide. Just move on. I agree with Trapt. Pull back a little bit more and dont always answer the phone. Do what's best for you, ya know?

You have to detach and not be so involved with the day to day garbage.

You have a long road ahead so just pace yourself.

Nothing you say or do will really speed this process up.

Nope.


No rest for the wicked