Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW New life with OM

Almost forgot, when I got home and checked the house phone for missed calls there was a number from the OM's cell phone. Wonder why he was calling our house phone??? He didn't leave a message and my W always has her phones (even the disposable one he bought her) with her. I'm not even going to mention it to W as I think it will be a waste of time and don't want to hear any lies or have her get defensive.

Well, today S15's team won 7-5 and he got 1 hit and scored 1 run

W did stop to talk to me when she left (before game ended again, she used to be the last one to leave the field) and told me somethings about S13 which I already knew but just listened, then she told me she is going to the doctor tomorrow cause she hurt her shoulder, then she told me she is going to miss the game tomorrow, she asked me to texted her when the game was over and the final score. So, I looked her in the eyes and just listened and asked a couple of questions nothing about R or anything pursuing just about what S13 was going to do for dinner tonight since she was going straight to her new place.

Also, found out from one of the parents that OM has a motorcycle and the W & OM ride on it all the time, which I told him I thought that was weird as W has told me many times since we met they she would never, ever ride a bike! I guess somethings do change. Anyway, I'm down and staying dark as I miss her too much to talk with her.

Last night S15's team lost 10-2, he scored 1 run but didn't pitch his best. Of course, the errors on the field didn't help. W was not at the game, she has missed more games and/or left early this week than she has ever done in a full season. I have no idea why nor am I about to try and figure it out.
After the game I went to a Forgiveness Meditation at the church I go to for Divorce/Separated group support. It was very good and open my heart up more.
I still miss my W and our M but I am trying very hard to detach and take care of myself and my kids. I know that as long as she is living with OM, I need to move on with my life and if/when she is ready to come home, I'll be much stronger to set up boundaries and tell her what I want from our M. Anyway, been really sad and down this week, I think it's because I have seen her more than I have the last couple of weeks. Its hard to see her and not really be with "her" right now. I know I'll get through this and the weather is not helping hope the sun comes out soon, well after the snow this weekend.

Just got off the phone with W and she is so pleasant to talk to, which makes me miss her even more. Anyway, mostly talked about the kids plans for the weekend. She did ask me what my plans are and I told her I'm doing a fantasy baseball draft on Sunday afternoon. And if S15 has a game on Saturday (depending on the weather) that I'd be going to the game. I asked her what her plans are and she said she is just going to hang out this weekend, so if the kids need any rides she would be available. They only call her for a ride if I'm not around which is not too often. But I was glad to hear she would help out a little. She asked me twice if I was ok and I said I am good and she thanked me again for keeping her updated from last night's game which she missed.

It seems so strange to be telling W how good I'm doing when all I want to say is how much I miss and love her. I know not to say that but its so hard! Even though I am doing fairly well (up and down as everyone knows) it's still weird not to be with her and tell her how much I want her to be home and for us to be a family again.

Well, went to the group support session tonight and am feeling much better. I'm so thankful I was able to find this program at this time of uncertainty. I'm tired and have to get S15 to school for baseball tomorrow at 8:00am. They have a double header but its going to be very cold and possibly snowing tomorrow...

Wow, it was cold at the games today. They lost both games 8-5 and 2-1. S15 played in second game and had two hits and a run scored. W and I had about a 10 minute conversation in her /our van. We discussed finances, S13 migraine situation, my car problems, her medical issues and she told me about all the extra work she did this past week to make money as her and OM don't seem to have enough. When I was in the van MIL called me to tell me she could not make it to the baseball games as she had to work. W still not talking with her mom, since bomb dropped.

Going with my parents to look for bookshelves I want to put in the dining room now that it is much cleaner.

We found a bookcase and me, my dad and S13 put it together and it looks great in the dining room I'm so glad I thought to add this to the house!

Then my mom, S13 & I start filling it up with books we had in boxes after we cleaned the boys room. Next, we went to dinner and now S13 and I are relaxing at home. Parents left and S15 is at a friend's house.

Still miss W lots but trying to live in the moment as 25mlc has been preaching and enjoying my kids so much!! There are times I just want to call her and ask her to come home but I know better, so than I usually call a friend to talk with.