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Sounds like a very reasonable plan, Rob.

Let us know how we can help.

Puppy

Nothing new and I don't expect anything for a while. My impression is the W is still trying with the OM currently and I expect it to be a few months before we know how that goes. Considering there's more issues with their R than what our R had I don't expect much success. I could be wrong of course.

Yesterday I was not in a good place but today I'm more apathetic. I have a "f' her" attitude right now which feels nice. I'm slowly getting my emotions under control and accepting the situation as it is. The plan is the same, agree with anything she says and if she says the D will be final on day 62 I'll be "That's cool, the sooner the better". I'm also about to dump a metric f'ton of bills in her lap next month which should be fun.

I watched a recording of "House" last night and he said sometime I think applies here. It was something like "I have to lose in order the win the war". That's us sometimes, in order to save our R, we have to give up trying to save it. I did my 180s and the W was impressed but now there's nothing left for me to do but leave her alone to get her head straight. I'm living my life and if one day she wants to come back I'll decide then if that will be an option. There's a good chance I won't take her back...I wouldn't today.

So far so good with the NC. I have no idea what/where my W is or has done in the past few days and it feels pretty good. The less you know the better.

Been looking at other sites and ran across something interesting. It appears that it's best to avoid trying to be friends with the WAS if at all possible. You can be friendly, but not a shoulder to cry on or even just chit-chat. This is assuming there's an OM/OW involved that is. See, you end up filling in a void that the OP may be missing and end up enabling the A by giving them the best of both worlds. The WAS has the miss you and your friendship. This is why NC can be so important. If kids are involved all I could so is always look your best and happy but no small talk when you see them.

Took my boat out on the lake this weekend. It was windy but still fun just to drive around. That will be my weekend thing once the weather gets better. My W always loved going out on the boat, I'm sure she'll be happy I'm at least getting some use out of it

Speak of the Devil I just got a txt from the W about whether to deposit a check from her mom's into the bank or drop it by the house. I don't know why she would ask to drop it off here.

I'm going to wait about an hour or so and just say "bank please" and leave it at that. I don't want her anywhere near me.

I could not agree more.

Puppy

Rob

Just wanted to chime in, sounds like you're doing really well these days.

Thanks for the comment about not being friends with the WAS as it gives them the best of both worlds. I'm debating whether or not to see xBF for the first time since I kicked him out two weeks ago. I don't need/want to see him so I'm going to think on it some more. After all, it's not about what they want anymore it's about what's best for us!

Man Rob-
I admire your stamina. These WAS's really are just incredible in their amazing ability to try and have cake and eat too. I am getting ready to try what you did. No calls/no text/no emails for awhile. I hope it works for you........

I'm still in anger mode which makes it easy to avoid seeing/hear from the W. I'm trying to pretend she doesn't exist and when I do think about her I ask myself "What does she offer that some other woman can't fill?". In my case, I think I may be better off without her. I think if I can fully get over just the rejection part it will be smooth sailing for me.

I know one day when she starts thinking clearly she will kick herself for letting me get away. Our M could have been easily been save since out problems were so minor compared to most but SHE with her all or nothing attitude pretty much doomed us. In an effort to not hurt feelings it ended up backfiring and made things 10x worse. She will end up alone after all of this but I will be a better person. I just hope one day this anger fades and I just stop caring what happens. Until then she's dead to me.

Stolen from someone else:

This ends now.


No more thinking, no more analyzing, no more heartache.
This is my life and I refuse to allow my happiness depend on someone else.
There is no point worrying about this for another second.
I am taking control of this now.
I am the one that has the power to end my pain, no one else.
My thoughts and actions control my feelings.
I can control both, and I will.
There will no more planning, no more searching for a reaction and no more submissiveness.
I deserve better from myself.
If I find myself planning something to get attention, I will stop.
If I find myself reminiscing about better times, I will stop.
If I find myself think about what anyone else is doing apart from myself, I will stop.
Every day that I spend dwelling on that which I can’t control is another day wasted.
Every day that I spend dwelling on that which I can’t control is another day that I have delayed myself from feeling better.
I don’t need to worry about this situation, it is over. I accept that.
This situation is now irresolvable from my end.
I have done all that I can.
I will no longer put myself in a position to be disrespected and I will instead start respecting myself.
I am a prize, I am a catch.
I will not lower myself to a level that I have no business being on.
I am letting it go.
If it comes back, the decision then becomes mine.
I will not wait for it to come back however, my decision has already been made – I am moving on.
If it doesn’t come back, I have my self respect – the knowledge that I have walked away from a situation with my dignity intact.
I will not compromise my dignity again.
I am walking away knowing that I have avoided making someone who has no right feeling above me, feel just that.
I am walking away from this and I will have no regrets.
Mine is not a position to regret because I have given it my all.
My mind is telling me that what I’m putting myself through is wrong, that I am wrong to torture myself over this.
I am now listening.
I will not re-enter the equation.
I will not put myself in harms way again.
I will not leave myself open for rejection.
I will now start respecting myself enough to end my pain.
I am the only one that can do so.
And today is that day.
I’m done.

great