Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Letting go and taking a left off last laugh lane

Hey there Smiley

I had to hunt to find you. You sound so different; strong and confident and even a little excited.

Congratulations on the new you.

Dan

I'll join you in that celebration toast! Name the cyber pub and I'll be there.LOL You are going to have a great life. Don't forget us here ready with a cheer.

Wow Julia, look at you!!!! Moving over to Surviving!!! I am VERY proud of you! You've been on a couple of dates, you're singing now, you're going to get your drivers license, you're selling your home.. you are moving on with your life... You've got lots of plans and are taking your life back! Good for you!

Please be sure to write to us about your travels... there are SOOOO many places I would love to see!!!!

Hugs,
W2G

Hi guys

Thank you so much for all your posts. I have been away for a few days; I needed to take a holiday so I went up to Scotland with a friend. It was really good to just take a break and get a change of scene. Coming back was a little difficult - I do find that house slightly depressing now but I am seeing it as a means to an end. I need to stay there really till the end of the year before I leave for my travels. So hopefully there will be an offer some time in the summer.

One of the things on my list is to re-train in a new profession so I am about to book an introductory course in Music Therapy - something I have been considering for a while to see if I like it. It is a scary prospect as it means I will have to become a full time student again and I'm not sure how achievable it is going to be but anything is possible right? I shall see how the weekend course goes in April.

There has been no reply to my email to h. Funny, I read somewhere once in newcomers that someone commented that it is amazing how friendly and amenable the WAS becomes when they are getting their own way. I will resend it again tonight and just put a note at the top saying 'just in case you didn't receive this'.

At the weekend I will pack all his stuff and put it into boxes. I will then ask him to arrange a time when he can come and get it. If I am going to be in this house for a while longer I may as well make it mine. I am finding that I am still replaying stuff/ events in my head but I am trying to stop. I'm actually finding it is when I am stressed about other stuff that it becomes more apparent. I'm sure that with time it will pass. I am also having vivid dreams about telling people I am divorced/ separated when they ask. Maybe that will help me prepare for the real time.

(((Samina))) thank you for stopping by. I was thinking about you the other day. You should start a thread...

(((Lisa))) Lets meet up really soon. I'm not at choir tonight as I have a trustees meeting - bleugh! I have a feeling that crazy doctor woman is going to be acting like a mosquito!

(((Ms M))) You words were really helpful about the reasons not being valid. You are right our marriages were short (although with h's illness I kind of felt like a lifetime in one year) and I'm sure time will heal. I have learnt so much from this.

(((Kassie))) Thank you for your support. I'll see you in that cyber pub I'm sure!

(((Dan))) Thank you there have been some transformations along this journey.

(((W2G))) So lovely to 'see' you again. I hope you are ok!

Just venting...

Yuck, h phoned. In the history of us since we split he has never phoned!!

He firstly apologised for phoning instead of email or texting - maybe in future I can ring if I need an answer about things now? I thought he just preferred it that way, maybe assuming on both parts.

He was ringing about the cat insurance - that they were paying the vet directly not me. He was checking the vet didn't get paid twice so that was good. Then asked me about the estate agents. He had texted me at the weekend to say some people were looking round. I didn't reply because I had said in my email that I was away and the estate agents would be contacting him - plus I was away I didn't want to deal with h stuff. We had a brief chat about how things were going with viewings.

Then he apologised for not answering my emails but said that the funeral for his Grandpa had been on Monday (he told me Friday in a text???) so things had been a bit hectic and that he would get round to answering them. That made me feel terrible a, for bothering him and b, for maybe being insensitive as it was his Grandpa's funeral. Anyway, I said that was fine and asked him how the funeral had gone etc.

Then he seemed to really suddenly want to get off the phone so I didn't drag it out.

Now I feel guilty for emailing and then chasing him - something I have never done before. He obviously didn't really read it or else he would have known I was away. My instinct now is to text him and say how sorry I am to have bothered him so I am suppressing that!

Sigh, hearing his voice and seeing his number flash up though, kind of made my stomach lurch and has made me wish things weren't so... he sounds like a colleague on the phone but then I notice that although my voice is light and friendly it has a certain coldness to it. This is hard.

I'm feeling much better now. I went out with a friend tonight and am really working on not letting these things effect me. It was because he pulled the 'I'm having such a hectic time at the moment and am too busy for you' thing which always makes me feel so rejected. I need to change my own reactions to that and realise it is not personal, it is about him not a reflection on me. After all, I hardly take up a great deal of his time anymore!

Hey ((Julia)), Welcome Back!! Good to hear you pulled yourself out of that funky mood. Ah, we all go thru them. Hope your vacation was nice, ah a vacation any vacation is nice. Scotland is so beautiful!

((((((((Julia)))))))))

I had lost your thread when you moved. I've caught up now.

Glad to hear you have such great ideas and plans for your future. You are inspiring!

Music therapy is so interesting. What is your other degree in? Just curious if the two can be worked together to use all of your skills and gifts.

I understand the interaction being tricky. It's funny how you have talked to him in person a few times but when he called you got that lump in your throat. Because it was so unexpected? I would imagine that would be the reason.

Keep us aprised of your plans. I'm looking forward to seeing you grow and flourish.

Hi Mishka, Ms M

Yes, good to be out of my mood. I think you are right Mishka, it was because it was unexpected and it threw me to see his name flash up on my phone and having no idea what he was going to say. The pressure of having to respond right away too... usually I get to prepare

I have a music degree so it would fit well with Music Therapy. The only thing is I would need to get my keyboard skills up to scratch... a challenge!

Wonderful! That sounds so interesting. Could you elaborate more on how the therapies are used what is done? I'm fascinated. I find music sets my mood all the time. I was a musician growing up. I gave it all up after high school but I am still enthralled with all types of music.