Yesterday was really good. I still feel that my W is "holding out" what I mean is that she is not letting herself go with her feelings. I get so many mixed messages. Last night we went out to Chinese food again and we brought our son with us this time. She poured me tea. (Something she never did before). The other day I mentioned something about ovaltine and how I have not had it in years. When she went shopping she bought some. But today when I was leavening I went up to her and gave her a kiss and said "I love you" and she did not say anything. I started taking the Wellbutrin on Wednesday. I am on my first day of full dose.(300mg) . My quit smoking date is Monday. I do not feel any different taking this drug but I am thinking that I can not trust my feelings right now. Not with just the drug but also with the quitting smoking "stress" so I am thinking about just taking care of Doc right now and try not to pay any attention to my emotions. I have come so far I know.. Next month April 12th it will be two years since this started.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
In piecing, it's best to take the "big picture" view of things as opposed to that day to day lens we had to use in the midst of the craziness. I hear so many improvements...one thing in the middle of it all and a big giant scary thing (for your W) at that doesn't change the forward movement. At least that's something that's helping me...being so hyper-focused gets me into trouble!
Have you been on ADs before? You'll probably not notice anything different for a couple of weeks. It takes a while for them to build up in your system and take effect. Definitely monitor how you're feeling and mention anything you notice or don't like to your doctor. I was on Zoloft the first time I was on ADs, and I had NO feelings...like I could have watched a kitten be killed and just said, "That's a shame." I thought that was normal, but my doctor switched me right away. ADs just put a floor under you and are supposed to help you maintain a normal range of emotions.
I read along often...rarely comment...but things are looking really good. The same ol' DB principles apply for the remainder of your life and in situations outside of your M as well.
Good luck with quitting smoking!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
In piecing, it's best to take the "big picture" view of things as opposed to that day to day lens we had to use in the midst of the craziness.
YES you are 100% right...I know we are "right there"...later tonight everything was back to "normal"...I guess it is like you can do 100 great things and then you screw up once and that is all everybody talks about... W made homemade spaghetti tonight and when she went to get the spaghetti we were out. She said "Doc It looks like I need you to go to the store, I thought we had spaghetti but we are out" Again this may seem like really nothing but in the past she would have just got pissed off and cussed and the said (really annoyed) I need to go to the store" So what I am saying is she is not being all "independent" no "I don't need you for anything attitude"
Ok Doc needs to quit whining and analyzing tonight..
Goodnight and thanks for your support Me (Soon smoke free)
To some, love is a word That they can fall into But when they're falling out Keeping that word is hard to do
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
OK TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY.. THAT'S it..no and's if's or butts...
I need to give myself a pat on the back this morning.. Tomorrow is my quit day and I was out of smokes this morning. No I did not move my quit day up but... when I went to buy my LAST pack there was a buy one get one free.. I turned the free pack down.I Did not want to have any laying around tomorrow.. I also decided I am going to try to highlight the positives.for a while.
Right off.... when I had to go to the store last night for the W I also bought a BIG pack of gum. When I got home I told wife about the gum and she said " That's good, you will need that Monday"... Last year she couldn't care less about my attempt to quit. So in preparation for my "New life" starting Monday.. I am going to be getting rid of ANYTHING smoking related... Cleaning out my jeep and make it nice and pretty..And getting a hair cut today..
Oh ya Daybreak.. The lord knocked me down a few notches today. I guess I should not have Bragged about the weather report saying it would be in the lower 70's today... IT"S RAINING....
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Oh ya Daybreak.. The lord knocked me down a few notches today. I guess I should not have Bragged about the weather report saying it would be in the lower 70's today... IT"S RAINING....
That's Karma for you!
Doc - I hope the quit smoking plan works this time for you. My dad tried it a couple of times but never could kick the habit. He did cut back some, though. Any type of addiction is rough to beat but I hope you're able to stay away from places / situations where it was easy to light one up.
And I hope the test results come back on the negative side...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
. My quit smoking date is Monday. 
I do not feel any different taking this drug but I am thinking that I can not trust my feelings right now. Not with just the drug but also with the quitting smoking "stress" so I am thinking about just taking care of Doc right now and try not to pay any attention to my emotions. 
