breakaway...I was actually thrilled with you when you said you told your son that his dad has a drinking problem. Seriously!
There are alcohol problems all across both sides of my family (thankfully, somehow I was spared from it). For the most part, my father was nothing like your H, but he definitely was an alcoholic. No one in my family ever said anything. Most of them struggled with alcohol, too. But as a child, to me it was so obvious, and I kept thinking "if I, just a child, can see what is really going on here, what does that mean about the adults around me? Are they just stupid? Do they think that white elephants don't leave footprints?"
I would have been so happy if someone had taken me aside and explained that my family has alcohol issues and talked to me as if it was something real, that I wasn't imagining things, if they had acknowledged to me that things just weren't right around here. It would have helped so much and I could have had more compassion for those around me if they had just been honest with me about what was happening.
Anyway, I don't know what the future holds for you but, good job on that bit of bravery.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Yeah, sorry. Haven't been around. I'm running out of things to say. Same sh!t, different day.
It just takes all my energy to cope right now.
For instance...we went to lunch yesterday, all is fine. By the time he got home last night I was in the doghouse for reasons that remain unclear. This morning as well. So whatever. I guess it was just time for my punishment, whether I need it or not.
I'm pretty much done here. I don't feel like I have a lot of support to offer others right now. I'm just trying to get by atm.
Ah, well don't feel you need to do anything for anyone else. Let us be there for you. It's important. Thank you for taking the time to let us know you are ok and need support. There have been many nights I didn't know what to say and didn't feel like I had anything more to offer. Somehow I just kept posting here and one day at a time, I got better. Baby steps lady. Just keep talking to us, it is important for you to figure your way out of this place you are in right now. Either way, is ok. A lot of people here with children put a lot of value on their welfare. I would suggest doing something I did which helped me- I pretended my children were in this situation and asked my self to listen to what I would tell them. And then I followed my own advice. It was a great relief to finally sort out what made sense. As it turns out that has lead my M to a different place and my H is getting sober, he took the first step to work things out this week. Listen to yourself... through your children. You did nothing to deserve his treatment and hopefully someday he will tell you that himself. Until then, you have to let others remind you of your worth.
I'm okay. H has been gone for the weekend so that gave me a break from all the pressure and gave me some time to think. I am working on some different options in my head right now. Not comfortable talking about it yet.
Thanks for checking in on me. I've been getting support from friends and al anon people as well. I'll check on your sitch soon.
Glad to hear you are ok, getting the support, and having options. Having choices always makes the picture brighter and allows you to clear your head and see what feels right for you. You are not stuck - just in a difficult R and having to sort out the normal from the abnormal.
I am glad you got the break! A well needed one at that! Don't need to talk about anything unless you want to. Just use your support and don't worry about anyone else right now.
saying hello...hoping everyone enjoyed Easter. My kids are on Spring Break and H has taken some time off and we have been doing things together. No horrible outbursts in the last week.
Will check back later this week (when he's not home!)
