But, perhaps most important of all, I learned that I have a much clearer perception of what my W is going through, and I am not as afraid of it as I once was. I have a skill set to cope with everything that has been thrown at me so far, and a pretty good idea of what else to expect should it come down the pike. Most importantly, I have a MUCH better appreciation of how to handle it.
Good for you Jimbo.
No unrealistic hopes or expecations, amazing interplay, amazing control...rookie of the year!
Seriously good job, excellent response over the top of your glasses BTW.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
But, perhaps most important of all, I learned that I have a much clearer perception of what my W is going through, and I am not as afraid of it as I once was. I have a skill set to cope with everything that has been thrown at me so far, and a pretty good idea of what else to expect should it come down the pike. Most importantly, I have a MUCH better appreciation of how to handle it.
Good for you Jimbo.
No unrealistic hopes or expecations, amazing interplay, amazing control...rookie of the year!
Seriously good job, excellent response over the top of your glasses BTW.
"......and Tolstoy hits it out of the park!"
Thanks, dude! I was really surprised at how my inner dialogue was rolling in real time as I was interacting with W, pointing out all the "symptoms" I've read about and discussed here on the board and elsewhere, and how all the coaching on what to do and not do became so instinctive. Learned a lot about myself, too.
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
Not to be negetive but please read the papers. Please get a lawyer to read them also. "Generous offer" is generous to who - you ? That's not how the D game goes.
Not to be negetive but please read the papers. Please get a lawyer to read them also. "Generous offer" is generous to who - you ? That's not how the D game goes.
Hi Stillhope- Thanks for chiming in.
I have since read the papers ("separation agreement"- she has not yet filed), and see nothing in them that she did not tell me about or that I had not expected to see. W seems to want to give me everything of ours (doesn't want anything to do with house, only wants her personal property which she already has, and her 1/2 of retirement account) and to try to forget I exist, most likely to cover the tremendous guilt she feels for leaving the way she did.
While I do want to fight for my marriage, I do have to admit that I feel like I'm running a risk that if I push fighting this D, her lawyer will convince her to get greedy....
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
While I do want to fight for my marriage, I do have to admit that I feel like I'm running a risk that if I push fighting this D, her lawyer will convince her to get greedy....
I'm going to tell you what my stbx told me about filing for divorce. I may have been naive when I agreed but it did make a little sense at the time.
He came to me and told me he felt he needed the divorce to be final so he could close that chapter in his life. He was not closing me out of it, just having the paperwork done was his "security blanket". He needed to be done with the old to prepare for the new. He needed to start over. He said we needed to start over as friends. It had been so long that we were apart that we could not just walk right back into where we left off.
Like you, I agreed at the time because I got a lot out of the deal. More than I should have but probably would have gotten less if I kept prolonging it.
You do what you feel is best for you. What I am saying is just because you sign papers does not mean it is a done deal. I have heard of people who divorce and get back together down the road. Make sure you get what you deserve out of this.
