Whatever the outcome, I'm so proud of you telling H you don't want D. It was beautiful, sincere, honest gesture.
You shouldn't get your hopes up, but I can do it for you, can I? Just a tiny bit?
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I have a funeral to attend later, our next door neighbor died. He had survived, cancer, heart attacks, a couple of rare illnesses I don't know the English names for, strokes etc etc. He was 84, still going fishing with his boat every week, still singing arias in the morning with an amazing voice. He was a survivor and enjoyed life. I've known him for 33 years, since we moved here. We get examples all around us, we have to be looking to see them...
Anyway, nothing to report yet. H called a couple of times last night about the kids. That's all... K
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your neighbour, thats very sad, I bet he was a sweet guy. So your Mum and Dad moved to that apartment/area 33 years ago? Wow, thats great continuity you have there.
Although there is no H news, I guess he is not going to the L at least anymore? Thinking of you,
Good afternoon K, Sorry to hear about the neighbour. Wow, 84 and still fishing...living and enjoyng life to the fullest to the very end. We should all take a lesson from that. Hope your kids feel better soon and that your H moves a little towards you, now that you have told him what you did this weekend.
Hey there, Sunshine. I'm so proud of you. It takes a lot to be willing to do some serious self-examination, and you did just that and discovered quite a bit.
It seems as if you felt you were doing things differently, but the results were still the same.
Regardless of what happens from here, you've taken a huge step for you.
Now, just continue to listen to your "little voice" (as Jeff calls it) and work on what you've discovered about being the best Maria you can be.
The book I received, "how to improve your marriage without talking about it" by Love and Stosny, freaked me out. There is list of things a woman can do to "break" her man (all resulting to shame for him). Well, I scored a very high score during the last year we were together. Not anything excitingly new, all the things I have admitted here. BUT, what hit me was, I did the test again, keeping the last months in mind and ...I was STILL doing them NOW. I was, have been doing them. The moment I got frustrated, I reverted to my old self, building higher walls, expecting him "to know", stopped focusing on good and magnifying bads and many other things I am ashamed to mention...
Kalni, I am so glad you came to those realizations before things went any further with D proceedings. It is so awesome how H responded to your telling him you didn't want the D. From now on try to keep the interactions more positive, take the lead and he will follow.
I think I should read that book. I find myself doing some of the things you were doing.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
