I think these type laws would be a good way to scare off an OP which would aid in the marriage staying in tact.
What I would like to see more often is, if a spouse commits infidelity, there should be NO spousal support. In a lot of states, including mine, adultery has no bearing on spousal support.
So my W can have an affair with OM, divorce me, take half my retirement and half my 401k, a large percentage of my wages and then continue her A and as long as she doesn't move in with OM or marry him, I'm stuck paying spousal support for x number of years.
And that I have a problem with.
Gee, ya think???
Same thing in my state (FL), too. It's unconscionable.
Now, THOSE are laws that need to be struck from the books!!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I am all for this!! or at the very least, that adultery once again be valid grounds for divorce, with appropriate financial consequences. I have proof that H left his family to be with OW, I have proof that it has had horribly negative effects on us, I have proof that I asked OW to "cease and desist" and she declined to do so because she was "supporting us in this" and "searching for how to serve in this space" and placing more importance on the "deep bond based upon similar views and life goals" between her and H (after a week of relationship) than on our covenant and contract. And in my state, it is illegal even to mention her name during the course of the proceedings because she's irrelevant in this no-fault state. She willfully and knowingly broke up our marriage, in spite of my request to leave H alone and let us heal the marriage for the sake of our daughter. However, their lives go on without consequence as we struggle for necessities because of H's choices. And it seems this is not only legal, but almost encouraged as a way toward personal fulfillment.
Last edited by hoosiermama; 03/12/0906:48 PM.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Interesting article but unenforceable. Adultery to me is horrifying and it is the worst pain you can experience, but it is almost encouraged in films, internet, TV everywhere. Tired of watching films that are comedies and it is about cheating.
What better laws they should have is more wait period for divorces. In my state there is no waiting period and you could be divorced in as little as 31 days. Mandatory counseling for both parties together. No spousal support for the party that carries on the affair. Maybe it would made people more accountable knowing they will get nothing and put a little fear into them pre-A.
In the Catholic religion Adultery is considered a mortal sin right along with murder. It destroys and kills families.
Hope--
I agree, the laws NEED to be changed. That is what I am looking to pursue in law school--my JD in Family Law and a Masters in Public Policy.
Wait periods of less than 6 months, even when there are no children, do not allow someone to cool down when they do something as a knee-jerk reaction. I have, all too often, heard people say they wish they would have waited before filing, but once they did it was like a steamroller.
I am so glad I live in a relatively conservative state. Minimum one year wait with kids, two years of contested. More and more judges are ordering mandatory weekly MC for at least 6 months. Some have created no contact orders for affair partners. They will support keeping the children and the OP separate until all legal actions are completed. There is even a limited divorce that separates all financials but does not allow either party to remarry unless they both consent to convert the divorce to a full divorce. All of these actions are increasing in the area, especially in situations where children are involved. I think the reality of the effects of divorce on children, and by extension society, are just really starting to be understood. Change can only begin in the legislative and judicial branches.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I wish I lived in your state! We have a 60-day waiting period--although practicalities usually result in it taking longer than that. And about children meeting the OP--my D12 was surprised with dinner with OW and her daughter; no warning, no preparation, no discussion--until she got back home with me! I would dearly love to have kept D12 and OW separate as long as possible, but I have no control at all over her exposure to or influence on my daughter. And D12 figured out long ago that her father left because he had this woman as a girlfriend.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I would say that the distinction is probably that wedding vows are not legal contracts, whereas marriages themselves are.
Personally, I'd be opposed to this on libertarian and "unenforceable" grounds, but as others have pointed out, I would like to see "adultery" be able to be used in a divorce action, and -- if proven -- used to negate spousal support.
I don't have a problem with the spousal support issue...because that would be decided in court, and if there were, shall we say, mitigating circumstances. Like if the guy was beating her up or a drunk or something...the whole picture should be considered.
But I understand the idea that a person shouldn't get to just skip out for somebody else and still get supported by the spouse.
In your case the law should state that they both go in the stocks in the town square, on top of it all. I would be happy to throw rotten cabbages at them for you. And put it on youtube.
