Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 107 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 106 107
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
Good morning WB...I mean WM. ;\)

Dropping in to say hello.

\:\)











Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
Good morning WB...I mean WM. ;\)

Dropping in to say hello.

\:\)

Sorry for the duplicate hello...it wouldn't let me delete it. \:\(

Last edited by T2SP; 03/11/09 01:18 PM.










Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,147
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,147
Originally Posted By: trapt
Yeah,

I see your point, it's not like that. It's tough to keep things into perspective at times.


Every one of us struggles with this trapt.... every time my daughter is sad or hurt by her mom I have to battle my demons and try to stay focused on what I can control and not what I can't. My point, me just saying to you to keep your mind open and see things for what they are is based on experience, ongoing experience.

Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
Right,

I do need to refocus on certain things. I guess it's knowing what to let go and knowing what to be firm on. I haven't really had much contact lately so it has made things a bit more awkward when we do, but that is me. That is something I need to get past.

I also feel more and more upset when she clearly crosses the line on something, again that goes back to controlling what I can control though. For now I will stay dark.

I have to respond to her proposed agreement on Wed. I'll follow what you said regarding the simple yes and no answers.


Don't stand still.
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
Seven years ago today my wife and I were standing at the alter saying our "I do's." I still have not forgotten my promises on that day.

I haven't had to much to report lately. I have been letting her do all the contacting. On Wednesday I have an appointment with my lawyer to respond to her agreement.

She is gone for a week right now for work. She called Friday before she left to leave me a message regarding what is going on. Her parents dropped the kids off on Saturday. They really didn't say a whole lot. It was friendly but I could tell they were a little uncomfortable.

My wife called Sunday morning while my Father was over visiting the kids. I didn't want to answer it while he was there so I let it go. The weather was beautiful, the kids and I had plans to have dinner with my grandfather later in the day. It was just to nice of a day to sit at home until then, so we headed out. We played outside for a while then went shopping before we went to dinner.

My wife called the house three times while we were out and finally called my cell just before dinner. She asked where we were and sounded a bit surprised when I told her. She spoke to the kids for a minute and then me. She wanted to again make sure that we would be home on Tuesday for her next phone call. The conversation was nice but short, I told her we would be there.

It's funny how she has her call times all planned and how important it is for us to be around. She told me to call if there was an emergency and that she would talk to me on Tuesday.

The kids and I have been having fun. They have been behaiving great. I have let a few other things that are happening right now get me down. Things I really need to step away from. I am not in a position right now to do anything about it so I'm trying to keep that in check.

I am also coming to grips with just how long this may take or if anything will change at all. Right now I am moving forward as if she is never coming back. I'm not saying that I have lost hope. There really isn't anything else for me to do at the moment. I plan on letting her do all the contacting. I will be friendly but firm when I have to be. She needs to make a step in the right direction and she needs to do it all on her own.

I have no desire to be with anyone else right now nor am I even close to being ready for anything like that. I'm taking it a day at a time and trying not to lose sight of what is really going on with her. There has been way too many things that have happend over the past two years to make me believe that this is really her and that she is now happier living her life this way. Nobody who is truly happy acts this way. I know better.

So for now it's on with life. One day at a time. Enough with the how long should I wait. The answer for now will be another day.


Don't stand still.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
I tried to not comment too fast like I did on Jimbo's thread. See, my patience is getting a little better.

You sound calm Trapt. You have your head on straight and are doing all you can do.

Quote:
One day at a time.


That is all you can do. Live your life right now for you and the kids.

Quote:
Seven years ago today my wife and I were standing at the alter saying our "I do's." I still have not forgotten my promises on that day.


It is hard when WE remember our vows and promises and they don't. Hang on to those memories....they will keep you going when you are feeling down.

One day Trapt.......











Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,160
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,160
I know the anniversary must be hard. I'm actually dreading mine coming up next month. Valentines was hard enough. Have a good day.


"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
Robert Collier

"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments."
Henry Ward Beecher

me 33, s 9, d 4
SoCo #1734476 03/16/09 03:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Moderator
Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Anniversaries are just days we attach expectations to.

Without the expectations they just become another day.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

SoCo #1734509 03/16/09 04:28 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
Originally Posted By: SoConfused
I know the anniversary must be hard. I'm actually dreading mine coming up next month. Valentines was hard enough. Have a good day.


Thank you...I hope your day is good as well.

I realized today was our anniversary while I was sitting at my desk this morning. It had been in the back of my mind a month or so ago. I haven't really thought about it since then and it didn't actually dawn on me that today was it until this morning.

It's not so bad really, a little wierd when I think of it but I'm really not sad or anything.


Don't stand still.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,532
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Anniversaries are just days we attach expectations to.

Without the expectations they just become another day.


I think that goes for any holiday or occasion anymore.











Page 5 of 107 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 106 107

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5