Cinders, I have to agree w/Mrs. H, if you are questioning it, then you aren't totally ready to date. Don't force yourself to do this, just because everyone thinks you should be doing it. You will know when you are ready.
Hope you are feeling better!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you, your comments are spot on. Dating will start when the time is right. For now, it's all about just enjoying life and finding my way.
Last night H sent a TM at midnight... saying he had left his phone at the office and that he would have loved to have my left over chicken, but wouldn't be eating home this weekend...and to please kiss the kids goodnight (at midnight!) and that he would see me this morning.
I didn't reply as I only noticed it this morning and I was going to see him anyway at the hockey.
We laughed and talked again...although I did try to make a point of not talking too much...he looked beat. Dead tired. I asked him if he would mind us getting together maybe once a month to discuss kids stuff, as it was often not good to tell him things infront of the kids on Thursday's. He said that would be great.
He's off to France next week for 'work' and ow ISN'T going with him !!!!! YAY !!!! I know, it's childish, ...but he would never let me join him on that weekend in Cannes as he used to say it was only 'work', well ow works for him, and apparently she isn't allowed to go either...Anyway, it made me giggle inside..doesn't mean I'm a bad person, I hope.
Anyway, been having a great day with the kids, they played hockey all morning in the sun and it was glorious ! After that D8 had a friend over and D10 is at a friend's house doing a project for school, she'll be home soon and we're having movie night, tonight ! YAY !
Tomorrow I hope the sun will shine again, and I'll take the kids for a walk...and do some spring cleaning at home !
Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm doing pretty well and feeling pretty happy !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Well....today one of my good friends met the ow, at a babyshower. H was there with ow and my friend went too as she too was invited. I had been invited too, but decided not to go. I gave my presents to my friend to give to the mom (who is H's cousin !) Anyway, my friend called me tonight and said, "Well, Cinders, I have to say that ow was nothing special....!"
Incredible, it wasn't as weird as hearing that stuff in the beginning, I remember my stomach turning and aching, but now, it was just as if she was telling me about just some person. But I have to say, it did give me a very empowering and uplifting feeling to hear that ow was nothing special, because you see, I have come to learn in these painful but growth years that I AM !!! I know I have so much to offer and that I am a good and warm person, mother, friend and woman ! So, I feel a new kind of confidence which had disappeared my last years with H.
He has a diluted version of me.
I am so happy !!!!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, I'm very happy for you....yes, you are a very special person. In fact, we all are!
As for the op (om/ow), they are nothing special at all. They are a reflection of how our spouses and former spouses feel about themselves now. Your h will discover that in years to come. You, on the other hand, learned a long time ago.
Cinders....you are the prize! Enjoy your new found freedom and live your life to the fullest. You have so much to offer the world!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am not one to stick a feather up my ... but I do feel that H is missing out on the REAL thing, on the BETTER woman, and a GREAT mom and wife. I'm glad I've realised that ! And funnily enough, it no longer matters that much when and if he will ever notice or realise this.
I feel bad for the kids, because their world fell apart without anyone ever asking THEM ...but I am happy that I am trying my best to have a good relationship with their dad, so that they have as little possible stress.
Take care Snodderly and thank you for believing in me !!! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I am not one to stick a feather up my ... but I do feel that H is missing out on the REAL thing, on the BETTER woman, and a GREAT mom and wife. I'm glad I've realised that ! And funnily enough, it no longer matters that much when and if he will ever notice or realise this.
I feel bad for the kids, because their world fell apart without anyone ever asking THEM ...but I am happy that I am trying my best to have a good relationship with their dad, so that they have as little possible stress.
Amazingly accurate, my friend! I, too, in these painful years, have gone from "I should have been better..." to "He will never do better". Sounds arrogant, but I don't mean it that way!
And yes, the kids. That part still makes me upset. But I am glad you have gotten past OW issues too. I have gotten over OW (they aren't together as a couple anymore, but who knows, they probably still see each other for meaningful sex). Heck, I even let her go in front of me in the carpool lane the other day. lol
