I didn't realize until I decided to post quickly on my thread that it was locked and my last post was from the 18th! Wow!!! I've come a long way from the days I was posting every 2 - 3 hours and checking my thread for replies even more often than that!!!
I've been keeping up here still...I've not done as well getting to know the new folks as I would have liked to have been able to do, but I think there will be a time for that a little later too. Right now, I'm working on me, and I'm not healed enough yet to deal with the raw pain of the beginning of someone else's sitch. I'll get there. I see so much value in this forum that I want to be able to help as much as possible in the future.
My life...wow! Things are going well. I'm busy all the time. I've finally started to get my work back on track. Lucky they love me, or I'd have been fired by now! I had a week-long trip to the Adirondacks for work for some training. It was cold, but getting away for that time was refreshing. The boys were with their dad, and he was Super Dad...got new shoes and haircuts and met with S7's teacher. I'm not complaining...I hope he does more of it.
As for H, well, nothing new. He did stop by on Thursday, and we did briefly discuss the draft settlement papers. He's gonna argue the taxes. I figured he would. It's not a big deal...and, to be honest, I'd have been disappointed in him if he'd let it go as the attorney wrote it! So, I'll have to pay taxes on at least some of the business payout. That's fair. He's supposed to get his markups to me this week so we can get them to the attorney. I don't think she's filed with the courts yet. But, I don't know!
He joked that he couldn't afford the D. So, I shrugged and said, "Well, you could come home." I guess I said it softly because he asked me to repeat it. I did. He just said, "Not an option." I said, "Okay. I just wanted you to know that it's an option for me." He said, "We are working this out." I smiled and said, "No. We aren't working this out. We are running from it." Then I shrugged and wished him a good day. That's the last conversation we've had. We don't even chat when he calls to talk to the boys. I just hand the phone over. I guess that's detachment???
I've been a little sad this past week. Not a lot sad...just a little. Sometimes I tear up for no reason at all. But, it doesn't last long. And, I guess it's all part of the process.
I'm staying really busy and having lots of fun. The boys and I hang out. We get together with friends. I get together with friends. I chat on the phone for hours. I've got some bold new friends (in fact, some of you know at least one of them) coming to visit this weekend. The weather should be really nice. They've not been here before, so I'm very excited about the visit. I get to show them the cool place I call home!
This morning I mentioned that I wouldn't be here most of Friday, and my dear friend at work said, "Why not?" I said, "Cause my friend is flying in on Friday morning." She said, "Oh, yeah. I can't keep up with you anymore. You are so busy, and you have so many new friends." I smiled at that! That's who I am...who I used to be...the me I lost in the marriage! I'd say that's SUCCESS!!!
I'm gonna keep being busy with fun stuff! I have a tentative trip planned for April, and another friend coming here in May. Summer's always busy here...my brother and SIL and their kids will come sometime this summer. I'm doing another 1/2 marathon in September. And, before you know it, the holidays will be here again! H agreed to give me Thanksgiving with the boys from now on (cause we always get together with my family then), and I'll have Christmas Eve with the boys at my house for 5 more years before I have to alternate. Not a bad deal for me!
And, since it's less than a year away now, everyone go ahead and mark your calendars now for my b'day party on the beach next year...we'll celebrate a day early on February 13th...so I'm not too old to participate! Cause by the 14th, I'll be 40!!! There will be lots of ice cream and good music and margaritas and good folks!!! Come join us if you can!!!
((((((Sandi)))))) I especially wanted to post for you...so you'd know I'm doing well. I'm still struggling with letting God completely take care of things in my life, but I'm getting better at it. I'm reading The Shack. It's excellent if you haven't read it, and some of the ideas in there have been good for me to contemplate. My Bible study this session is on I and II Corinthians and is about Relationships and Passions. It's my first Kay Arthur study, and I'm learning a lot. So, keep praying for me, but don't worry about me!!!! I'm in good hands!!!
And, I did get to see the friend who lost his fiance in the plane crash in Buffalo. He looked better than I imagined he would. The next few weeks will be difficult for him, but he's back at work. That should help him. Thanks for the prayers on his behalf.
I love you all!!!!
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
{{{Amy}}} so way cool that you posted and I didn't even realize your thread had locked up either..ha..LOLOL
A bold friend..how cool is that? I love when people say stuff like that about me about how I have so much going on or so many people to talk to..I like finding that side of myself again!!
HEY now about the gonna be too old to celebrate when you turn 40..sigh..LOLOL..I will let you know in a few months when I turn 40 if it's truly over for you..tho I personally THINK it's just beginning sister
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
HEY now about the gonna be too old to celebrate when you turn 40..sigh..LOLOL..I will let you know in a few months when I turn 40 if it's truly over for you..tho I personally THINK it's just beginning sister
Tawnya
I'll let you guys know next week.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
((((((Sandi)))))) I especially wanted to post for you...so you'd know I'm doing well.
Oh Sweetie Pie! I feel so honored that you chose me to put so many hugs around and give me a little special message. As far as still struggling to turn some things over to God.....well we all do that and probably always will to some extent. But I know that God is very aware of all you've been through and how far you have come and the length you've grown. He must feel a sense of pride (but of course, not the sinful kind)over his darling Amy at what she has accomplished.....but especially when she allows Him to lead her down those hard paths she has taken.
The things that I have seen unfold is nothing to what our Heavenly Father has known. He knows about all those times you cried and asked "why", and the times you tried so hard not to cry for the sake of your kids watching. He knows how badly you've hurt, honey, and He has always cared very much about that. Sometimes, we wonder if He's there watching and listening or if He really cares what we are going through.....but He does. I think there are many things we will never know the answer to "why" this side of Heaven, but as long as we can trust Him to take care of us......we will make it. It is a tough old world, but He is still on His throne! No matter what comes to past and how bad things look, don't forget that God is in control of history......and when we let Him....He will control our lives also. It all gets to be too much for me to handle and I tried to learn that lesson many years ago about turning things over to Him, however, my old nature wants to flare up and take over from time to time....LOL. It will always be a battle between the two natures.
I've said this all along and I certainly don't change my tune now.....you are going to be just fine, honey. It takes time, but you are going to be more than "just fine" b/c you are what winners are made of! Never forget Who you are!! I love you and I am so proud of you and how you have handled yourself in all of this terrible nightmare you've had to endure.
As far as the Newcomers, you have been a help to many people, and besides, you don't know who or how many read your old posts. Don't worry about not posting to "enough" people, but I hope you can stay in touch with us old friends cause we'll have to come looking for you if you don't!
I'll be glad when everything is finally over with the legal stuff b/c I think you will feel a certain amount of buden lifted. I know it will also hurt to close that chapter, but you are a positive minded woman and most of all you are very determined......and that is what counts. As you said, it is still raw, but it will heal! I think the healing will start as soon as everything is finalized. So, it is a bittersweet even, if I dare say that, b/c I think he has made it more than plan that he is not going to change his mind, so that frees you up to move on. It also frees you up from any guilt before God, or your kids, or your family, or anybody, b/c you did everything you could do to save this M.
So, be free darling, and be happy b/c you deserve it! If only I was looking forward to being 40 in a year.....lol. I would start celebrating tonight! You have so many good years ahead. Don't waste the future and don't cry over the past.
Love ya, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I love when people say stuff like that about me about how I have so much going on or so many people to talk to..I like finding that side of myself again!! 