Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Separated 5 months...and counting...

Hi All,

It's been very quiet for the last few months. We went our separate ways in early June, and when we parted, he said he would file for D 'soon'. There has been no word since. The only contact we have had was running into each other at parties of mutual friends, and even then, neither of us has mentioned the D. I don't even know who he is any more, but somethin gis stopping me from filing myself, other than the fact that I didn't want it in the first place. Should I just wait until he does it? If you need background, take a look at my previous posts.

By the way - does anyone else have vivid dreams about what they are going though?

JennyB

I'll have to check out your sitch, but I am in a somewhat similar stich. My H said he wants a D, but here I sit. When I talk to him (usually once a week) it's all small talk. I have been GAL but at some point I know I am going to loose my wits!

I know I need to be patient and I know it's only been 3 months ago he moved out, but I have no idea what's going on. I don't want to file either b/c I'm not the one who wanted it either and I don't want a D.

Hang in there, hopefully there's someone out there who will have some good advice!

Hi Jenny. Welcome to the board. So sorry for your situation but realize that you are not alone. There are so many of us here that have WAH and are in very similiar situations.

I have only skimmed through your situation. If you do not want the D then I would say don't file. If he wants it let him file!

As soon as I get a chance i will go back and read more of your situation.

Hi Belle,

It's very frustrating that we sit here and 'wait' for them to file, even though they are the ones that wanted it. I asm slowly learning, that the more I go out and get active in my own life, the better I feel. I guess what it comes down to i that I'll file when I'm ready, but I'm just not there yet...

Separated,

Thanks for taking the time to read my situation. I am just holding on for now, and trying to keep busy. I am even thinking about starting to date, even though I always said I woulden't date until I was officially divorced. I am all but certain that he is doing the same.

It is now the end of January...still no contact, and still no papers. I have also heard that he has started dating, which is to be expected. I think it's time for me to move forward and file. My only question is, do I email him and let him know theye are on their way? I have to admit, I am hoping for some kind of reaction...

If you are going to file, it would be nice to let him know. If possible, give him the option of being served in your atty's office, so there is no suprise, no one around (saves $ on your end as well). I know you're hoping for a reaction, and you may...or may not get one. Don't use this as a threat. If you tell him you are going to file...then do it.

You need to be prepared no matter what his reaction is to follow through. So, think hard if this is really what you want.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. We left it that he was going to file...that was in June. We have seen eachother twice since then, and no other contact in between. He has left me no other choice. I can't in good conscience start dating until I am divorced. I don't know what to do. I don't want to file.

Is there any way you can get your feelers out? Can you text him, or call him with some random question regarding something he'll know? (For instance if he's an acct, ask him something about your taxes...get the idea?) That way you may be able to feel is something is there. You may tell if there is a chance of reconnecting. Ask him while you have him on the phone how he's doing...
At this point, it wouldn't hurt.

I don't know what to do. I feel like i've left it too long now, and he's gotten on with his life. I am doing the same, but the only difference is, I'm not dating anyone. I feel like if I do contact him, when he sees the message, he'll roll his eyes and think "what does she want?"

I don't know if ou have read my story, and the answer might be obvious, but there are so many other people on these boards that have had it so much worse...