Hello Yayoo, Sorry that you find yourself here with the rest of us. One thing I would suggest is that you establish a firm boundary. Your H just can't come and go as he pleases because he is disrespecting you.
I understand that you want him back, but he can't do it based on his own convenience. This "crisis" he's in is his and his alone. If he wants to be on the roller coaster, that's his deal. However, you don't have to join him on it.
What do YOU want? And I mean, aside from wanting your M. Live YOUR life and don't let him control it. The key is to turn the tables on the situation so that you are the one with the power and not him. Right now you are letting him get away with what he wants. But is it what YOU want and believe in?
Don't think about the porn or the OW. In fact, I would confront him and just say that as long as he's got her, he can't have you. My W cheated on me with her boss twice her age. She said the same things...she regrets being married, she was never attracted to me, blah blah blah. I later found out she was lying to me about the A so I promptly kicked her out of the house. There were just certain things that I wasn't going to tolerate and that was the big one.
Don't lose any respect for yourself. Stand up for yourself and let him go. You can't control him anyway. Get your own life. Once he finds out that you really aren't the root of his problems, he's going to have to face his own problems himself.
If the woman he is with now is as self-destructive as she seems, he's going to learn real fast what a good life he has with you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks Down. Backing off is the hardest thing to do. You will be pleased to know though, that I have stopped the snooping. That was so not good for me!
H did inform me that he will be going away this week from Tuesday until Thursday. It is for work, so he will be staying in a hotel, but......
I not asked Puppy Dog Tails yet for advice, but will. H is so strange. In an ok mood again yesterday, and then actually invites us to go out and see some friends together.
