Future, ah....I guess I'm just a one day at a time kind of gal. My son had a serious talk with me tonight, and explained that it is time that I stopped thinking of myself as young. My feet say the same thing, and my hair color. I could go on. My point is, you've raised these beautiful, wonderful kids and they will go on to be wonderful adults. The rest is window dressing.
I think I have to agree with Sara. The most meaningful impact we have in this world is through our children. Having family and friends is what makes life worth living -- there was a time when I got really confused about that (and that's why I am here now).
And once your little birds fly their nest, that role as parent doesn't really end, does it?
Hey Theo.. it's really nice to see you here again. Your words always resonate with so many people.
I hear you on the angry thing.. I'm still very angry as well.. bitter, too! I'm allowing myself the time to be angry and bitter until the D is final. Then, I've vowed that it will be time to get over it and move on! I think I need that finality now.
Both you and Yoyo have been living in limbo for so long. That is by far the most difficult thing.
ps - thanks for the prayers regarding my current sitch
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hi Everyone, Thanks everyone for the outpouring of support. I'm doing fine. I haven't been posting because my computer at work has a virus and it's hard to get on.
Theo, nice to hear from you. You've been a stranger. Sorry to hear things have not improved with you.
I've been busy at home. DD had games to cheer at last night. They handed out awards last night to extra-curricular all-stars at the game. This entailed that a student was involved in a school activity, maintained a 3.0 grade point or better and received no discipline referrals for the semester. Yay, DD met all of these requirements! She gets it from her mama! LOL
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
You mean to tell me that you didn't get a single discipline referral????!!! You haven't been trying hard enough. lol I am glad to hear that you are doing well. Kids are keeping me afloat.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
{{{{yoyo}}}} good to hear from you. We missed you. Your right it was an outpouring of support from people who do care about you and your sitch.
Have you had a chance to read surviving an affair yet? thoughts.
Take care. Glad your DD is doing well and received her kudos.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
So, it has been almost 2 and a half years since he pulled back initially. From the beginning, even after moving out, he isn't sure about his decision because he comes around within the first month. He knows you know, and serves papers after 6 months. Two months later, he isn't sure about his decision. You don't talk to him at the game, you pull back....he decides to work things out. His family is no help. For about a year, it looks like he told you that there was no contact (other than at work), but you find that there probably has been. He makes promises, but doesn't follow through. He calls off divorce proceedings, though. He continues to take calls from her, but yet buys you a new car. He goes to social events with you, but continues to allow her to call him.
My advice is similar to the rest. You have given him much time to make a decision, and he can't seem to do this by himself. He is in limbo. I believe he will remain here until you tell him you can't live this way. He wants to come back to you, but the OW has a pull that keeps him coming back.
Sit down with him. Have a conversation. Yes, a relationship talk. You love him, and want to be married to him. He needs to either get a new job, fire the secretary, or allow you to work side by side with him at all times. He needs to recommit to the marriage by moving back home, going to counseling, reading books, etc. Any contact from OW should immediately be told to you. New phones. The whole shabang.
I believe he will not commit until you require him to. He will "kinda commit", but never truly commit. That's not fair to you or your kids, Yoyo.
Hi Yoyo, Agree with whatdidIdo. I think of next year when both DD are out of the house and if H is still in the "far country".
I worry that you will still be limbo -- waiting waiting waiting. I understand this because my biggest fear is I only have 2 years left when D15 goes off to college. Will I be rambling around my house -- alone. I know it must be a concern for you. YOu know how much time we fill with our D's activities and sports. I thank God every day for that but those days will soon end. We need to find our place again.
You know we will support you in whatever you decide. Take care. Hugs.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
