As for your H, he needs to put you first. Yes OW has responsibilites with D for college. So you tell H in Plan b, OW has to go. He can give her a pink slip and severance pay. It will be much cheaper than you Divorcing him. Right. As long as she is seeing him everyday, she is still waiting for him. She is available to him, she shows up at his house. H needs to cut those strings.
YOUR M, YOUR girls need to come first. You want to feel sorry for the OW -- pray for her to get a new job.
You need to get your old H back. Once this harlot leaves, things will get easier.
We are rooting for ya.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
The OW destroyed her family. She doesn't give a rat's a$$ about yours. Don't worry about her.
I think letting your husband know he needs to fire her is key. Don't back down on this.
Regarding the pets, what can I say? He thinks he's still King of the Hill and can dictate to you that he wants a pet-free, spotless house with daughters who are seen but never heard from.
Here's my long-term concern Yoyo....
Neither you nor your husband have really, deeply, fundamentally, changed since this all started. You both might be a little wiser for the wear, but he's still a narcissitic, hard-working, materialistic bubba and you are still a sweet, self-sacrificing, upstanding, moral paragon of the community. I like you much better and I don't think you personally NEED to change, but without it, the dynamic remains the same. Deep down he knows, no matter what he does, he can parade around, issue order, heck he can sleep with his secretaty, and ther are NO consequences for him. You are still there waiting for him patiently. His money, his pride, his ego, are all intact.
Maybe you should try the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" Yoyo....though like Theo say's, I don't think you really ought to change. Most guys would love to have a W like you. It's just that if you want the H you have then perhaps you will need to be much stronger with him. He is a manipulater and suffers no consequences currently.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I looked at Saffie's recommendation. Looks like an interesting book.
Again, Yoyo, you don't need to change, but it you want this marriage to work you must. I think the changes you need to make will re-spark the attraction in your husband. Remember there are tons of men who would love a woman like you, but if you want The King of Hill, change is in order.
It's a good thing I don't have a window in my classroom. I would be tossing this computer out the window. Since I'm on the 2nd floor I don't think it would survive the crash!
H called me Friday night and said he wouldn't be able to attend DD's game because he had to go to an out of town job site to meet with the engineer and job superintendent that were being difficult. He said he would call when he got back. He did not.
Saturday morning I called him and told him that he would not start treating me like he has in the past. I told him when he did not call me back Friday night and let me know what I was going on I did not trust him. I said you have deceived me so many times I will not stand for it. You have to give me reason to trust you. He got defensive. I told him I did not call to argue with him. I said if you want to make this work you have to be accountable. He then started explaining to me what he did and what his plans were for the day.
He called me that evening and invited me to dinner. It was very nice. Afterwards he came in the house and stayed about an hour and talked to DD and her friends.
I did not hear from him Sunday. He has a long way to go if he wants to make it work. I'm dropping the rope. We will see if he hangs himself with it... Like I said I told him I will not tolerate not knowing what he is up to. He must start acting like a married man or he will soon find himself a divorced man.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yoyo, you go girl! No yoyo anymore- one clear path!
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Good for you!! Keep it up and he won't know what hit me!! I am so proud of you for calling him on that stuff. Next step show OW the pink slip and the door.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
