Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Just keep swimming...PH #4

I don't know that it's necessarily a place to be jealous of JD. Every now and then when I'm reading other threads, including yours, I wish I loved xBF enough to want to hang on. It's very sad to me to be able to walk away after 8+ years in this relatively easy manner.

I think the difference is that I realized we didn't have such a great R to begin with. We both just swept things under the rug or ignored anything that could possibly rock the boat. So we were happy but not for the right reasons. That's the reason for the best friend line in my email. I really do want that with someone. Or at least not to be in a R with someone who can't/doesn't fit that bill.

Hi Pearl,

Bravo on your email

He may not have read it yet when he texted you - the times are so close.

But I'm sure he's seen it by now. Hang on!

{{PearlH}}

You are certainly brave and have come a long way to finding out what you want. The email was very well done.

I'm sure he'd read the email already Silver. That's just the way he is.

Now he feels like he made the effort so he can say he wanted to work it out but I'm the one who said no. Take no responsibility in his personal life, that's his motto.

There is no argument about who ended it? or why? Did you do what you needed to do and say what you needed to say? What difference does it make?

Can you take a visit from this to talk to me?

Well good for you Pearl.

I know how you feel regarding walking away. I am doing that after 26 years now. It's a case of must rather than want though. The only way we can continue to grow and flourish is to remove them and their negativity from our lives.

They did us a favour Pearl.

Don't lose focus on the job, remember SF is beckoning!

{{{Pearl}}} hope you are doing GREAT today my friend..

I think Silva is right tho..they really did us a favor, not one that we wanted or even KNEW we needed..but look at how much stronger, happier, and better YOU are now!! You go girl

Tawnya

Hi Pearl,
Stoppping by to see how you're doing.
What're your plans for the week?

Yay, I'm done with job stuff for a while! Mostly. Phew.

Silva & Tawnya, I know they did us a favor. I was just talking to a friend about that last night. It is an opportunity to become a better person and live a better life. I really do believe that. I wouldn't have believed that three months ago.

I, like most people, do NOT like change! But it's good for me. I know it's good for me. I'm sorry it took something like this to point it out. I'm sorry that my xBF had to be unhappy with me. I'm sorry he didn't want to stick it out with me to experience the changes. But all I can do now is focus on an exciting future and move toward it.

So, to answer lemonsnap's question, I do have one more thing to write up for the job counselor. I may be ambitious and actually do 2-3 more! Tonight is dance class night (yay!). Tomorrow I have IC and I'm going to a concert. Thursday I'm off to Minneapolis to visit a friend I've known since first grade and maybe my goddaughter (it's a dicey sitch, her dad is xBF's best friend). Of course I have to clean the house, do laundry and pack in there somewhere too.

And Tawnya - I am making it my goal to get caught up on Heroes before I go!

Forgot one thing...

I was in a bookstore this afternoon after meeting with job counselor. I was in the relationship section to look for dating books for my gf (honest!) and noticed the man standing next to me had picked up DR and was reading the beginning. I wanted to tell him how much I loved the book and about this board, but I thought it might be intruding on a personal moment so I just smiled to myself and walked away.