Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Endless Optimism

{{{T}}}...glad you could make it!.

They say better late than never

Feeling much better this morning.

Sorry I stood you all up.. </guilt>

Today is the day for getting over yesterday and for preparing for tomorrow.

Hope you are feeling better today Silva. Are you looking forward to your new job?

Hey SO2.

Thanks, Feeling much better. What a party pooper eh?

Yeah, I am actually, new place, new start, new chance. Can only be good.

Seems like we all need a new start. Glad you have such a positive attitude. Like you said, it can only be good.

Was just checking in on you {{{S}}} to see how you are feeling today.

Didn't know you were starting a new job this week -thought you already did. Know it will go well for you.

I have a question for you, kind of stirred up as I was gazing through the forums? Do you wear a wedding or not?

{{{Kass}}}

Bless you, thanks.

I presume you mean wedding ring.

I did wear one, never took it off for anything for 24 years. Kept it on when W 1st left. When we split for the 2nd time, it came off, in fact we both removed our rings. I really knew at that point that it was all over, so there was no point in it staying on.

I've had a mark where the ring was, and followed the diappearing of that closely with my own feelings. It's all but gone now and I am all but totally moved on. Kind of strange, but I used it a physical symbol.

What makes one say they know for certain it is over? I have thought that many times. I am not so sure to get my hopes up now - but I figure if I am not filing and he hasn't filed for D then the door is still open.

{{{Silva}}} glad you are feeling better..no fun to start a new job feeling crummy

Thanks for hosting the party, sorry I was late getting here!!

Interesting thought about the wedding ring..I took mine off as a "test" one day a month or so ago when I went out..I told hub at some point it may come off, but I"m not quite ready for that one yet..

Tawnya

Well Kass, I won't file, I don't know about my W. She has told me on many ocassions that it's done and there is no going back. Now I can look back realistically on the last few years and see that they weren't nice. We were both unhappy, stuck in a rut. So, is it REALLY over? Who knows. I am not hanging around to find out though. I have stood by for 6 and a half months now and W has got farther and farther away. It was time to let go, and I did.

It's such a shame, but if we both end up happy for the remainder of our lives, that is all I can ask for.

You too will know when the time is right to let go. Does that mean you cannot EVER get back together, well in all honesty no. What it does mean however, is that you can start planning the rest of your life the way YOU want it without looking over your shoulder at the past.

I definitely agree to the letting go part for now - M get stuck for a reason and holding on to what doesn't work keeps things the same or worse. I think the letting go part is what Michele talks about using a beginner's mind. Very hard to do. Forgiving the past and seeing the present as a new place - hard. Discovering yourself - which you are doing such a great job at doing - you have mentioned reconnecting with the parts you enjoyed about yourself. Are you thinking about how that got lost or how you can maintain it in this or any other R? I am always curious how we see ourselves and how others see us - especially in R. My H sees me so differently than others do partly because we have a R unlike others. On the other hand, I think we change things about ourselves without even knowing it in a R until there's a problem. Solution focused help tells us to look at what works in ourselves and what doesn't. Do you think M are mirrors?

I am not musing today - really thinking.

What are your thoughts.